Parenting Expectations Are Way Too High — I’m Done (And You Should Be Too)

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I’m officially out.

This realization hit me about three years ago when the immense pressure I was placing on myself as a parent, combined with my compulsive need to micromanage my kids, left me floundering in a sea of frustration. To be honest, my family didn’t want to throw me a life raft because, let’s face it, I was just too unpleasant to be around.

In my eyes, nothing was ever satisfactory, and the goals I set for myself and my family were not only unattainable but often completely nonsensical. When I finally grasped that my children’s memories of me were likely to be tinged with my manic misery, I made the decision to quit.

I quit obsessing over those unrealistic, self-imposed standards of motherhood, embraced the idea of grace, and consciously chose to allow myself to be less (and I mean way less) than I thought I needed to be. And guess what? I haven’t looked back since. Why? Because shedding the heavy burdens I carried left me feeling lighter and infinitely happier as a mom.

Here’s the deal: As I started doing less, I became more.

Sure, lowering your parenting expectations sounds simple, but it’s not easy—especially for stubborn perfectionists who feel they must get everything just right. It’s also tough for those who already feel like they’re falling short to accept even lower expectations. But granting yourself the grace to step off the relentless treadmill of parenting perfection is the best gift you can give yourself and your kids.

Everyone deserves grace, especially those who give it so freely while rarely considering their own needs—yes, I’m talking about moms. Grace is crucial during times of struggle, offering you a chance to hit the reset button where past mistakes simply don’t count. Got that? Your missteps don’t matter. Grace is unconditional.

For those of us who push ourselves relentlessly, feeling like we constantly have something to prove, grace reminds us there’s nothing to prove, no one to impress, and no “parenting merit badges” to collect. It gives us the freedom to define what it means to be “enough” on our own terms—not based on other moms, social media, or societal expectations. Those made-up standards just leave us drained and unfulfilled. You will never feel “enough” if you let others dictate what that means. You are already enough.

When you let grace break the suffocating chains of motherhood expectations you’ve placed on yourself, the liberation is astonishing. Seriously, it’s mind-blowing! And here’s the kicker: it will make you more lovable. The self-imposed walls of inadequacy that you’ve built around yourself can hinder your kids and partner from loving you the way you deserve—and from you fully loving yourself. But once those walls come down? Once you accept that you are enough as you are? Get ready for a relief so profound, you’ll wonder why you didn’t give yourself a break sooner.

Lowering your standards doesn’t equate to failure—nor does leaving dishes in the sink overnight, having a mountain of unfolded laundry on the couch, or ordering pizza for the third time this week. Those ridiculously high standards that you thought defined your worth as a mother were just nonsense. Grace doesn’t care about dirty dishes, laundry piles, or less-than-perfect dinners. It only cares about YOU. And you are so much more than any standard—you’re a mom whose only real benchmark is to love her children.

Allow grace to help you release those expectations and resentments. Because there may come a day when there’s no laundry pile, but your children will always need a mother’s love. And trust me, your future grandchildren will be ready and waiting for it.

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Summary:

This article discusses the unrealistic pressures many parents place on themselves and the importance of embracing grace. By lowering expectations and letting go of the need for perfection, parents can create a more loving and fulfilling environment for themselves and their children.