Dear Mama,

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When it comes to breastfeeding, the ultimate decision-maker is you. Whether you choose to breastfeed your baby for a few weeks, months, or not at all, that choice belongs entirely to you. It’s time for the judgment, guilt, and shame surrounding breastfeeding to end. Can we agree to support each other in whatever feeding choices we make for our little ones?

I see the criticism coming from all directions. Some moms can’t fathom anything other than breast milk touching their baby’s lips, while others scowl at a nursing mom’s exposed skin. It’s exhausting! And let’s not forget the well-meaning but misguided comments from those who question why you aren’t just pumping or why you’re still nursing a toddler.

Just so you know, I’ve breastfed my two kids for what feels like an eternity, and I’m also a certified lactation consultant. I know firsthand the benefits of breast milk and believe every mother should have the chance to breastfeed if she chooses. But we need to chill out about it all! In the U.S., most babies will thrive whether they’re breastfed or not. Yes, breast milk has health benefits, but what truly counts is the overall well-being of your child.

Are you feeding your child nutritious meals, ensuring they get some outdoor playtime, and showering them with love and affection? If so, you’re doing an amazing job, no matter how you choose to feed them. The stigma surrounding formula feeding has to go. Many mothers I’ve worked with feel guilty about not breastfeeding, and they certainly don’t need extra judgment on top of their own feelings.

You never know a mom’s backstory, so please refrain from passing judgment on why she chose not to breastfeed. And if a mother feels empowered to share her breastfeeding journey, let’s celebrate that, too! Breastfeeding can be challenging, and moms deserve encouragement, not criticism.

Let’s also clarify something: when a woman breastfeeds, her breasts are not sexual objects. They can be, sure, but they also serve the purpose of nourishing a child. And when they’re being used for that, it’s not your place to comment.

To all the new moms out there:

If you want to breastfeed, fantastic! If you don’t, that’s absolutely okay too. If you’re facing difficulties, reach out for help—professionals are available, and many resources like this one on home insemination kits offer guidance. And for useful tips on insemination, check out this article for more information.

Remember, your body, your baby, your choice. Don’t let anyone else dictate what matters to you.

Summary:

The pressure surrounding breastfeeding choices can be overwhelming for new mothers. It’s essential to support each other, regardless of individual feeding decisions, and to recognize that a mother’s journey is personal. Encouragement and respect should replace judgment, allowing every mom to feel empowered in her choices.