I Became a Better Parent When I Stopped Trying to ‘Fix’ My Kids

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Recently, I embarked on a little experiment. My kids, aged 3 and 4, had been acting out with more tantrums, louder screams, and an impressive level of whining and chaos. As someone who likes to “fix” things, I saw their behavior as a challenge that I could tackle and turn into something better. My solution? A “yes” day!

The idea was simple: if I said yes to everything, my kids would be ecstatic, and our home would transform into a scene straight out of a Disney movie, complete with hugs, smiles, and maybe even a catchy tune playing in the background.

So, I dove in headfirst. We played all of their favorite games, created new ones, danced, sang, and dressed up in costumes. We got messy with Play-Doh, colored outside the lines, and yes, I even let them use glitter (a sign of desperation, for sure). We ventured to the park, munched on their favorite snacks, and even made muffins together. I laughed at their jokes and cheered on every little thing they did.

Exhausting? Absolutely! But surely this would lead to a fantastic, magical day, right?

Here’s the twist: nothing changed. They still whined, cried, and threw tantrums. They felt like they were missing out, and their behavior was still toddler-level chaos. In essence, they were still just little kids navigating the world.

I realized that toddlers aren’t problems that can be fixed. Despite all my efforts to curb their challenging behavior, they were still the same spirited little people trying to understand boundaries and their place in our family. They’re learning about cause and effect – like why hitting their sibling with a wooden spoon over chocolate chip distribution is a bad idea.

From this experience, I learned that one day of saying “yes” wouldn’t magically solve anything. Not even a handful of “yes” days could change the fact that kids are not puzzles to be solved; they are beings to be loved, guided, and nurtured. They need a mentor, a kind ear, and plenty of hugs—not just a day where they get everything they want.

While I may yearn to “fix” my children, I can’t. What I can do is give them my all every single day. Some days, I’ve got the patience for a puzzle or to hear the same knock-knock joke for the hundredth time. Other days, though? Well, let’s just say I’m human too, with my own ups and downs. But if I can pour my heart into them daily, I believe they’ll grow into incredible individuals.

Moving forward, I aim to spend more evenings feeling proud of my parenting and fewer nights stressing about whether I’m messing them up. And I hope you do the same!

If you’re curious about other parenting topics, check out this article on home insemination. It’s a great resource!

In summary, being a parent is not about fixing your kids; it’s about loving them and guiding them through their growth. Embrace the chaos, give them what you can, and trust that they’ll turn out just fine!