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If You Don’t Have Kids, You Don’t Understand My Life
Before I became a parent, I thought I had it all figured out. I was the go-to expert in all things parenting. Babysitting throughout high school and working as a nurse in a busy hospital gave me a false sense of mastery over toddler tantrums and nap schedules. I’d tell my friends struggling with their kids some truly ridiculous advice, like, “Have you tried [insert laughable suggestion here]?” or “If you just did [insert naive parenting belief here], I bet your kid would be fine.”
My husband and I genuinely believed our future children would thrive under our superior parenting knowledge. Little did we know, the moment our kids made their grand entrance, we quickly realized we had been living in a delusional bubble. It’s a miracle any of my parent friends stuck around to help me navigate the chaos of parenthood after I had passed judgment on their choices and offered such “helpful” advice. I mean, it’s pretty arrogant to think I knew better than them about their uniquely challenging situations, especially since I had never encountered a diaper blowout in a car seat.
If you’re child-free and dishing out parenting advice to your friends with kids: just stop. You don’t know what you’re talking about, and trust me, it’s painfully obvious. After 13 years in the trenches, I can confidently say that when someone without kids tries to advise me, I roll my eyes so hard I almost get a headache.
Unsolicited Parenting Advice Can Come From Anywhere
But there are specific groups that seem particularly prone to it.
Expectant Parents
We get it; you’ve devoured every parenting book out there. Congratulations on acing your Lamaze class! But when you see me wrangling my kids at the playground, please keep your mouth shut. I don’t care if every article you’ve read claims babies should eat only homemade, organic food. My kid will only eat the red Goldfish crackers, and when his mouth is full, I get a precious three minutes of peace. You currently enjoy all the quiet in the world, but come talk to me in six months after you’ve locked yourself in the bathroom, sobbing because you haven’t slept in days. I won’t say “I told you so,” but I’ll definitely think it.
Pet Parents
I have a dog, so I can say this: kids and pets are completely different beasts. When I’m lamenting my child’s sleepless nights, please don’t tell me about your dog’s sleep habits. I appreciate your love for your furry friends, but mothering a pet isn’t the same as raising a child. Sharing advice based on your cat’s behavior will only make me want to toss your litter box at you. I’m all ears if you’ve got tips on curbing my dog’s 5 a.m. potty breaks, but I’ll pass on your iguana insights regarding my toddler’s eating habits.
Child Experts Without Kids
Many professionals assist us in raising our children—doctors, nurses, and teachers among them. While their expertise is invaluable, I find it hard to take advice from those who don’t have kids of their own. When a doctor advises me on feeding my picky toddler, I tend to trust the one who juggles three kids at home rather than someone who’s never had a sleepless night. Education and experience are vital, but unless you’ve walked the same relentless path, your advice feels disconnected from reality.
Parenting is hard enough without the interference of those who think they know better. It’s tough not to second-guess your choices when a well-meaning friend suggests that perhaps breastfeeding should only happen in private. Each child is unique, and parenting advice is not a one-size-fits-all approach. The more I navigate this parenting rollercoaster, the more I realize the importance of listening and supporting one another rather than simply offering advice. So unless you’re suggesting a good wine pairing for dealing with my tween’s math homework, I’d prefer you just stay quiet.
For more insights on parenting and related topics, check out one of our other blog posts here. Also, if you’re looking for reliable resources on pregnancy and home insemination, this Wikipedia entry provides excellent information. And for those interested in the specifics of home insemination, Make a Mom is an authority on the subject.
In conclusion, parenting is a unique journey, and those without kids often miss the mark when it comes to advice. It’s essential to support each other rather than impose uninformed opinions.