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50 Activities I’d Prefer Over Doing Laundry
We all have that one household chore that sends shivers down our spines. Some folks despise vacuuming, while others can’t stand scrubbing the toilet. But let’s be honest—most of you will agree with me when I say laundry is the absolute worst. I loathe it with the intensity of a thousand cranky toddlers!
The thing about laundry is that it’s an endless cycle. Unless you and your family are embracing a nudist lifestyle, it’s never truly done. Sure, you can wash and dry the clothes in the basket, but what about the outfit you’re currently wearing? And don’t forget the clothes everyone else has worn while you tackled the laundry. It’s a never-ending saga.
Laundry isn’t a straightforward task either. Unlike dishes, where you wash a plate and call it a day, laundry has a million steps. First, you have to find every stray sock, then sort it all out, wash, dry, fold, and finally put everything away. So many steps for a chore that feels like it’ll never be finished!
To illustrate my profound disdain for laundry, I’ve compiled a list of 50 activities I’d rather engage in than tackle this chore.
- Fly to Mars with 17 toddlers.
- Have an amateur magician perform surgery on me.
- Relive my middle school years.
- Give up chocolate forever.
- Abandon alcoholic beverages for good.
- Attend a political rally I’d rather avoid.
- Bathe in spicy salsa.
- Grow up looking like a cartoon character.
- Let my 4-year-old give me a haircut.
- Experience labor pains while giving birth to a whale.
- Allow my kids to unleash their creativity with glitter.
- Wear a bridesmaid dress daily for a year.
- Get a paper cut on my eyeball.
- Have a perpetual sunburn.
- Walk barefoot in the snow uphill both ways—seriously!
- Host a holiday dinner for the most dramatic family imaginable.
- Live next to an overly cheerful neighbor.
- Endure constant home renovations with jackhammers.
- Survive in a world without disinfectant wipes.
- Part with my beloved yoga pants.
- Appear on a sensational talk show.
- Struggle to remove stray chin hairs and resemble a rock band member.
- Discover I’m suddenly allergic to pizza.
- Sit through an entire marathon of a show I can’t stand.
- Join a community of the Amish.
- Trim my toenails with a chainsaw.
- Have a quirky celebrity as my life partner.
- Hire someone who’s a walking dust cloud as my housekeeper.
- Listen to my toddler’s endless knock-knock jokes.
- Adopt a pet anaconda.
- Vacation with a family known for their strict rules.
- Read the comment sections of controversial news articles.
- Sit next to a tuna lover on a flight.
- Eat only kale for a week.
- Have a famous chef critique my cooking skills.
- Discover my favorite restaurant no longer serves free appetizers.
- Kiss a jellyfish—yikes!
- Attend the premiere of a never-ending movie series.
- Walk barefoot at a theme park after a storm.
- Devour fast food and then search for a restroom.
- Convince my partner to reverse a medical procedure.
- Get all my health advice from an unreliable website.
- Wear a neon outfit to a formal event.
- Become a cat enthusiast with dozens of felines.
- Face all my worst fears in a nightmare.
- Be a target for professional archers.
- Explain a complex movie plot to someone completely lost.
- Live on a famously repetitive theme park ride.
- Experience a shocking surprise every time I try to use the restroom alone.
- Watch helplessly as my kids discover and devour my secret stash of treats.
I could keep going, but alas, the dryer just beeped. Time to fold some clothes and feel a piece of my soul fade with every pair of pants I handle.
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In summary, laundry is a chore that can feel insurmountable, but there are plenty of other questionable activities I’d gladly choose over it.