As a photographer, I dabble in making a living by capturing moments. My favorite part? Swapping out lenses for different perspectives. Some lenses help me see the world more broadly, others zoom in on faces and emotions, and some even twist reality for that artsy touch.
Life as a parent is much the same—we constantly shift our lenses. We have our joy lenses, our skeptical lenses, and sometimes, those pesky ones that warp our view of reality.
Recently, a dear friend, Melissa, shared her frustration about her three sons never being great sleepers. For five long years, sleep has eluded her. Her youngest, a sweet little guy named Leo, is no exception, often staying awake long past bedtime.
In her next post, she shared a picture of Leo dozing on her lap, captioned, “Mom fail – 33,425,000.” But let’s be real—she’s not failing. Not at all. Melissa has put in the work. We’ve been friends for over two decades, and I can vouch for her relentless dedication. She’s tried sleep training, every trick in the book, and even consulted experts. Yet, she feels like a failure, all because sleeplessness has become her lens.
When we’re exhausted, it’s all too easy to view ourselves through that distorted lens of failure. The glaring light of sleep deprivation can feel like a spotlight, blinding us to the beauty around us. With that harsh glare, we only see the flaws—the little things that nag at us and distract from the bigger picture.
Weight, finances, relationships—these are all lenses that color our experiences. They can skew our perception and cause us to miss the beauty in our lives.
So, if you’re feeling worn out—really worn out—please have a supportive community around you. When you’re hurting, I hope those friends help you heal. If you’re celebrating, I hope those around you join in your joy instead of casting shadows with their own lenses. But if support is lacking and you’re feeling stuck, remember that your current view may not reflect the whole truth.
To my amazing friend Melissa, you’re a fantastic mom. Your husband adores you, your boys look up to you, and I see you clearly through my lens—you are not a failure.
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Summary:
In this reflection on motherhood, the author likens parenting to photography, emphasizing how our perspectives can shift like camera lenses. The piece highlights the struggles of exhaustion and self-doubt many parents face, illustrated through the story of a friend grappling with sleepless nights. Ultimately, it encourages compassion and support within the parenting community, reminding us that our lenses can often distort reality.