Life After 40: Reflecting on the Past and Embracing the Present

In my mind, I’m still in my twenties—okay, maybe 27 at the most. So, when I called for my teenage daughters to huddle closer for a picture, it hit me: they’re inching closer to that youthful age I like to think I still embody. Sure, they’re in the lower part of their teenage years, but it’s a reminder that, biologically speaking, I’ve crossed the 40 threshold.

That younger version of me didn’t touch coffee.

But this version? Oh, I’ve embraced it wholeheartedly this year. Waking up before dawn was wreaking havoc on my mood; sleep deprivation turned me into a grouch. Now, thanks to my newfound love for caffeine, I’m still a little snappy, but at least I can channel that energy into something constructive, like organizing my thoughts (or my snark).

That person kept a pristine home.

Seriously, it was immaculate—nothing ever out of place. Then I had kids, and that obsession faded into the background. Now, I’m perfectly okay with a bit of chaos. My living room resembles an art installation of half-folded laundry and a mountain of unmatched socks. Every few months, I bribe the kids with a promise of a binge-watching marathon if they help sort the laundry. For a few glorious days, all my socks match. It’s a small victory! The rest of the time? My feet are a colorful patchwork of patterns and styles.

That person was a makeup aficionado.

Back then, my makeup routine was practically a performance art piece—eyeliner that could cut glass, lips that were always perfectly lined, and powder that made me glow. Now, post-kids, my hormones are a little more unpredictable. I’ve learned to forgo eye makeup to avoid looking like a raccoon during those tearful moments sparked by heartwarming internet stories. Plus, not wearing makeup means I can skip the morning routine and steal an extra 20 minutes of sleep.

That person had a wider circle of male friends.

I was always amazed at the ease of those friendships—no girl drama! Sure, there was always the risk of someone misreading the signals (friend-zoning can be tricky), but now, I relish book club nights with my female friends. We gather to chat, vent, share a glass of wine, and maybe even cry a little—no makeup required. This version of me appreciates friendships free from the complexities of flirting.

While my teens are at the beginning of their journey, they’re also figuring out how to navigate friendships, set boundaries without losing connections, and learn that women can be allies rather than enemies. They’ll discover that during tough times, a good friend can make all the difference.

So, maybe turning 40 isn’t the end of the world. I have my coffee, occasionally matching socks, a circle of supportive women, and a glass of wine waiting for me at the end of the day. Sounds pretty good to me!

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Summary:

This article reflects on the changes experienced after turning 40, contrasting the author’s past self with her present reality. Through humor and relatable anecdotes, the author discusses how life evolves with age, from newfound coffee habits to the joys of embracing imperfection at home. Additionally, she highlights the value of female friendships and the lessons her daughters will learn as they navigate their teenage years.