Parenting
Confronting the Terrifying Hand Dryer: A Parenting Tale
by J. Parker
Updated: May 17, 2017
Originally Published: Aug. 28, 2016
We put a lot of effort into fostering independence in my son, who is on the autism spectrum, especially when it came to daily living skills. We thought we had successfully navigated a significant milestone when he finally embraced toilet training. Everyone was thrilled—he was happy, we were ecstatic, and let’s face it, my laundry machines were probably throwing a party! We were celebrating our triumph.
But, oh, how naïve we were.
There was one crucial hurdle we hadn’t anticipated. We sought advice from teachers, therapists, support staff, and fellow parents, yet the challenge remained. Since my plan to live forever was clearly unrealistic, we needed to face… The Hand Dryer of Doom (cue suspenseful music).
In a bid to be eco-friendly, science bestowed upon us hand dryers for public restrooms. However, these contraptions emit a sound akin to hellish screams that could terrify anyone, especially a sensitive child. Simply suggesting, “Just rub your hands on your pants,” was not an option. The moment he heard a stranger activate one, he was utterly petrified.
As he grew older, he began venturing into the men’s room alone (with me stationed at the doorway, reassuring everyone that “Mom’s right here. If you need help, just holler, and guys, I’ve seen it all before!”). So, what worked? A hair dryer. Yes, you read that right. His former teacher, Ms. Adams, was a genius and introduced the idea of using a hair dryer after handwashing at school. While he’s not exactly a fan, he learned to tolerate it. That’s all a mom like me could wish for. When she sent me a photo from a class trip to the mall, I was overwhelmed with emotion. It was one of those moments that made me sob—like full-on, ugly crying.
J. Parker
Miracles do happen, even in restrooms.
The Exlarator brand! You know how loud that one is. Super loud!
But just when I thought we had conquered the hand dryer fear, I encountered this monstrosity. “Hey, her autistic kid got over the hand dryer fear! Let’s up the ante!” Are you kidding me? This gadget looks like it belongs in a bad sci-fi movie as a torture device. Just when I got him used to the regular one, now I have to teach him to stick his hands into this beast? Nope. Not happening. I’m going full-on “teenage girl with UGGs and a pumpkin spice latte” here—I literally can’t even. Sorry, kiddo, but you’ll just have to deal with some damp hands. Sure, it might make your fries soggy, but you’ll manage.
I spotted one of these in a movie theater restroom. Not a single woman dared to use it. With paper towels available, I watched as lady after lady bypassed the hand dryer, opting to kill a tree rather than face that terrifying machine. Even neurotypical folks have their limits when it comes to environmental responsibility. This thing is well beyond that line.
Some challenges can’t be solved with a side of fries, and this new hand dryer is one of them. If I weren’t so terrified of it, I’d tell it to “blow me.”
This article was originally published on August 28, 2016.