I found myself sprawled on the exam table during my six-week postpartum checkup after welcoming my third little one into the world. My midwife was inspecting my breasts and joking about their extravagant size. “Wow, those are some serious assets! Can you even reach the steering wheel?” I looked at her, and suddenly, the tears came pouring out—not because of her comments, but because it was the first moment alone I had experienced since my youngest arrived. I had been so eager for this appointment, and the realization of how sad that was hit me like a ton of bricks.
I was so maxed out that I was thrilled at the prospect of being examined by the same woman who had just witnessed my childbirth. Just lying there alone was blissful to me, even if it meant being prodded in ways that felt entirely unflattering. One glance at my tear-streaked face, and she instantly understood. “You’re in the thick of it. I know it’s tough. But trust me, it will improve.”
I wanted to shake her and demand, “When? When will it get better?” But I held my tongue, scared that her answer might be 18 years down the line. I couldn’t handle that possibility, so I didn’t ask. Instead, I left that office, oversized chest and all, and headed straight for a much-needed coffee—my first in six weeks. And let me tell you, it was heavenly.
That was nearly a decade ago, and over the years, I learned to care a little less about the small stuff. If you’re currently feeling overwhelmed, take heart: it does get better. You will get better. If you’ve ever cried during a breast exam because you felt inadequate, know you are not alone. Treat yourself afterward. If you feel unappreciated and find yourself snapping at everyone in your home faster than you can scarf down a piece of cake while hiding in the fridge, it’s okay. It may take time, but I promise it gets easier because you learn to navigate this chaotic journey of parenting. You’ll find a way to love your kids fiercely while also making room for self-love. It just takes practice.
Motherhood can stretch anyone thin—whether you have one child or five, whether you work outside the home or choose to stay at home. We all feel maxed out frequently. One of the best lessons I learned was to care less—by that, I mean lowering my expectations and letting go of unnecessary stress.
Sometimes, it’s perfectly fine to be late. If your kids resist getting dressed, let them lounge in their pajamas. Don’t hesitate to ask for help. If you need someone to watch your kids so you can run errands or even if you’re considering a prescription for a little something to help you cope, don’t hesitate—your well-being should always come first.
It’s okay if you don’t prepare dinner every night. Your family will survive. If you can’t tackle that epic mess your kids created while you were trying to shower, nobody will notice. If you’ve gone days without a shower, it’s not the end of the world. And if you need that extra caffeine to power through the endless games of Candy Land and a barrage of questions, indulge yourself.
When you’re in the thick of parenting, it’s hard to keep everything in perspective, especially when you’re running on fumes. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to give yourself permission to step back and address things later. So, schedule less, say “no” more often, and embrace the liberation that comes with it. You’ll feel so free, you might just want to swing from the chandelier.
You’ll have days when you feel completely spent, and the following day might not be much better. But with time, you’ll grow better at coping and recognizing that chaos is just part of the deal. Throughout your life, you’ll have messes to clean up, but when your kids are grown, it won’t matter if the laundry was folded or if they had hot dogs for dinner four nights in a row.
What truly matters is that you took care of yourself during the tough times so you could be present for your family. The key is to let some things slide so you can tackle the chaos of parenting. Remember, motherhood isn’t a race, nor should it be treated as one, but it’s easy to forget that when you feel stretched thin. Just know that we’ve all been there—so reach out to a friend, ask for help, and order takeout if that’s what you need. It won’t always be this way. Things do get better.
For more on navigating the ups and downs of parenting, check out our other blog post here. If you’re looking for resources on home insemination, this site is a fantastic authority on the topic. And for further information on infertility, this link is an excellent resource.
Summary
Parenting can feel overwhelming, especially in the early stages after childbirth. It’s common to feel stretched thin, but it’s important to understand that things do get better. Lowering expectations, asking for help, and taking care of yourself can make a significant difference. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and embracing the chaos is part of the process.