Why Ignoring My Toddler Turned Out to Be My Best Decision Today

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The highlight of my day? Choosing to ignore my little one. Yes, it’s accurate that he can’t whip up his own snacks, dress himself, or even navigate the bathroom solo. And while I am indeed his primary caregiver, today I opted to give him a little space.

Before you jump to conclusions and label me as a neglectful parent or a lazy caregiver, let me clarify – my son is just two years old, and I was merely a room away when I made this choice.

Like many of our days, all my toddler seemed to want was me. It feels fabulous to be wanted, but after countless demands, the charm quickly fades. By mid-morning, I found myself feeling drained, buried beneath a pile of toys and longing for a moment of peace.

Frustration crept in, evident in my tone and the sighs that escaped my lips. I began tossing out the usual responses: “In a minute,” “You have plenty of toys,” “After I finish this,” and “Just be patient.” Naturally, my son ignored them all and continued to pester me, leaving me engulfed in a wave of guilt. Perhaps I was a lousy mom. What if he misinterpreted my actions as “Mommy doesn’t want to play” or worse, “Maybe she doesn’t even love me”?

I foolishly thought that by now, with three kids under my belt, I would have it all figured out. Instead, my youngest challenges my confidence more than ever. Like any parent, I want my kids to feel loved and joyful. Yet, I’ve come to realize that it’s not my job to ensure their happiness. That’s a personal journey each of us must undertake, and embracing this truth can lead to a happier life for everyone involved.

So, I made a conscious effort to truly listen to my toddler. While he tugged at my hand, pleading, “Mommy, play with me,” I recognized that he was really saying, “Mommy, I need you to entertain me.” With two older siblings, he’s used to just joining in on their fun and doesn’t often have to take the lead in playtime. When the big kids are at school, he expects me to keep the entertainment rolling.

But today, after initially spending some quality time indulging his favorite games, I decided to step back. For every request for my attention, I kindly reminded him that I had tasks to complete and that he could either assist me or find something to do on his own.

And then, a delightful transformation occurred. It wasn’t just that he immersed himself in a game of pretend after a mere five minutes of uninterrupted time. It was the serene joy painted across his little face. It wasn’t just a simple smile; it was a radiant happiness that sparkled in his eyes. He discovered joy all by himself.

Maybe I’m not such a bad mom after all.

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In conclusion, recognizing when to step back can lead to unexpected moments of growth and happiness for both parents and children.