I was catching up with my close friend, Sarah, the other day. I confessed to her that sometimes I worry I come off too sarcastic or maybe I just talk too much. Maybe I should tone it down a bit. Her response reminded me why we’ve been best friends for 26 years: “That’s the spunky girl I lived with for four years at college, that’s the girl I cherish, and that’s who you are! So please, keep being you.” She gets me, loves me all the same, and knows at 41, I’m not about to change—and honestly, she wouldn’t want me to.
Chances are, you’re not going to change either, and you shouldn’t have to morph into someone else to maintain solid friendships. Here are the essential qualities that define the kind of friends who will embrace you just as you are:
Moms need friends who accept their true selves.
It’s exhausting to pretend we’re perfect. We all need friends who create a safe space for our messy realities without judgment.
Moms need friends who are dreamers.
We’ll boast about all the high heels we’ll wear and the cocktails we’ll sip during our fun-filled weekends, but let’s be honest—we’ll probably end up in our pajamas, munching on junk food instead. Maybe next time, we’ll go all out.
Moms need friends who don’t mind the morning chaos.
Sometimes we need each other at the crack of dawn or late at night (okay, maybe not past 9 p.m.), and that means seeing your BFF in her oversized T-shirt and no bra.
Moms need friends who can make them giggle.
Life is tough—parenting, relationships, work—it’s all hard. We need that comic relief! If you can make me laugh, even unintentionally, you’re a keeper. And if you can make me cry-laugh, I’m never letting you go.
Moms need friends who speak up.
If I’ve ticked you off, hurt your feelings, or let you down, I want you to tell me directly—not gossiping to Nancy down the street. We don’t have time for mediators in our lives.
Moms need friends who encourage them.
Whether it’s about bad habits or new adventures, I need someone to nudge me to get that extra cup of coffee, order those fries, or alert me about shoe sales—just don’t let my partner know! You lift me up when I’m doubting myself.
Moms need friends who’ve got their backs.
If anyone speaks ill of my friends, they better be ready for a serious conversation. No one messes with my crew.
Moms need friends who understand that kids can be little devils.
All kids have their moments. If you think your kid is perfect, this friendship probably won’t work.
Moms need friends who are not jerks at kids’ events.
Doesn’t matter whose kid is acting up—if you’re rude on the sidelines, you’re probably rude in life, and that’s just not my vibe.
Moms need friends who will give it to them straight.
Honesty is crucial. If I look ridiculous in my jeans, tell me. If I’ve got food in my teeth or a bird has decided my head is a target, I need to know!
Moms need friends who are okay with texting over calling.
You don’t mind if I only reach out through texts instead of calls. And if I do call during an emergency, you understand that bathroom breaks are a must.
Moms need friends who stick around when life gets tough.
When everything feels overwhelming, those who stand by you through thick and thin are the ones you want in your corner.
Moms need friends who share their snacks.
Sometimes, I’ll choose a salad but crave your nachos. If you’re cool with me stealing some frosting off your cake with my fingers, we’re golden. I’ll promise not to lick the salt off your margarita glass—maybe.
In short, moms need friends who are authentic, supportive, and who bring joy into their lives. They should be the kind of friends who will advocate for you when needed and love you for exactly who you are.
If you found this article helpful, check out this other blog post for more insights on friendships and motherhood. And for those looking into pregnancy options, visit Make a Mom—they are an authority on this topic. Additionally, for more information about intrauterine insemination, Cleveland Clinic has excellent resources available.
Summary:
Moms thrive on friendships that are genuine, supportive, and understanding of their unique challenges. They need friends who accept their messy realities, encourage them, and provide comic relief. Ultimately, the best friendships are built on honesty, loyalty, and laughter.