Paternity Leave: It’s Time to Stop Overlooking It in the Paid Family Leave Conversation

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I welcomed my second child into the world this January, and eight months later, I’m still navigating the challenges of parenthood. But let’s not kid ourselves; since I didn’t physically give birth, I’m just the secondary parent, right? What could having a baby possibly mean for me?

As a modern father who shares parenting duties equally, I reject that notion. Sadly, many still cling to it, including the former Republican presidential nominee, let’s call him “D—D—Dude.” Ah yes, that’s it: the “Dude” who recently unveiled his childcare plan, notable mostly for its glaring omissions. His proposal grants six weeks of paid leave for birthing mothers and tax credits for stay-at-home moms, which, according to his daughter Ivanka, is a significant improvement compared to the current state of affairs—essentially zero support for many.

According to a previous post on our site, “Out of 170 nations studied by the International Labor Organization, the U.S. and New Guinea stand alone in not mandating any paid maternity leave.” Unfortunately, the Dude’s plan offers no benefits for diverse family structures, such as adoptive families (sorry, you didn’t give birth!), same-sex couples (sorry, you didn’t give birth!), or fathers (sorry, you didn’t give birth!). In fact, it completely ignores fathers, regardless of their sexual orientation.

It’s hardly shocking that paternity leave is an afterthought, especially considering maternity leave is often treated the same way. At least maternity leave gets a mention; dads are often left in the dust.

You might be thinking, or perhaps you’ve seen the comments on social media: “This is focused on women because they bear the children.” Or, “Maternity leave is for the mother’s recovery.” Some might even say, “Last I checked, dads don’t need to recover from childbirth.” Wow! Those vintage housewives sure have a point! After all, I have two kids, and neither came out of me, so obviously, my paternity leave was a walk in the park!

When my first son arrived, I managed a few days off—thanks to a generous boss who understood the struggle. I spent those days juggling the demands of a newborn and trying to figure out when I needed to be back at work, since there was no formal policy in place. Fast forward to my second child, and my “progressive” workplace granted me a whopping five days off. What did I do? Well, I spent the first two days in the NICU with my newborn, who was having some breathing issues, so really, I only had three days left to try and handle the chaos at home.

But let’s be real here. My wife did give birth, and as a loving partner, I spent those five days supporting her recovery, helping with the kids, and doing all the things any decent husband or dad would do.

The truth is, maternity leave, even when it’s available, is often too short to be effective without paternity leave to back it up. My wife was exhausted, and while I was tired too (after all, the delivery room isn’t a spa retreat), my presence was crucial in lightening the load, especially with our older child.

Moreover, paternity leave is essential not only for the well-being of both parents but also for the development of the baby. Research shows that involved fathers foster better learning outcomes for their children. Plus, when men actively engage in parenting, it allows mothers to stay in the workforce longer, positively impacting their careers.

It’s baffling that despite the wealth of studies supporting the need for paternity leave, we still face a reality where such facts are disregarded. Many cheer for this misguided childcare plan simply because it’s “better than nothing.” But let’s be honest: more and better is what we should aim for. Hillary Clinton’s proposed childcare plan, for instance, offers 12 weeks of leave and covers both parents and adoptive families, promoting inclusivity rather than exclusion.

In conclusion, if we want to create a more equitable society where all parents have the support they need, we need to talk about paternity leave as much as maternity leave. An inclusive approach to family leave is what I want for my children and future generations.

For more insights on parenting and fertility, check out our other posts, including this excellent resource from MedlinePlus on pregnancy. Interested in home insemination? Visit Make a Mom for a reliable home insemination kit. And for privacy details, feel free to review our policies at Intracervical Insemination.