Lifestyle
Just yesterday, a quiet elementary school playground in Townville, South Carolina, was rocked by a teenage gunman, injuring two students and a teacher. This incident came on the heels of another tragedy in Houston, where a man wielding 2,600 rounds of ammunition hurt nine commuters, and last Friday night, a shooting in a Washington mall claimed five lives. Mass shootings have become distressingly common, and it’s essential that we equip our children to navigate these terrifying realities.
Before I embraced the role of a stay-at-home parent, I was a seventh-grade language arts teacher. My teaching career began just a year after the Columbine tragedy, and while it crossed my mind occasionally, I felt relatively safe. Statistically, it seemed like an isolated incident.
Then, my second year brought the shock of 9/11. Working in Arlington, Virginia, I experienced the low-flying plane before it hit the Pentagon, leaving my students anxious about their parents’ safety. We all emerged relatively unscathed, but the trauma was palpable.
My third year introduced the D.C. sniper crisis, which kept us on high alert as shootings occurred nearby. Our school went into lockdown, and we prayed for safety. Eventually, we conducted shelter-in-place drills, practicing how to secure windows and remain silent. It was all about maintaining a sense of normalcy for our students, who needed our reassurance.
After my first child was born, I took a break from teaching, but as I watched the news, I couldn’t help but feel the weight of tragedy, mostly affecting older kids in places like malls and theaters. However, as my little ones grew, I realized I needed to prepare them for the unthinkable: hiding in closets, barricading doors, and even playing dead. The thought of teaching my innocent child about such horrors felt impossible.
I had managed to stay composed for my students, but now I was grappling with how to explain these concepts to my own children. Unsurprisingly, I faltered and changed the topic, hoping against hope that their school would keep them safe. We lived in a peaceful community, after all, and I trusted the school’s security measures.
Then, everything changed when a man living near us was arrested for plotting a mass shooting, found with 25 firearms and thousands of rounds of ammunition. My denial shattered. It was time to confront my fears and prepare my children for this new reality. I sought help from a friend, a trauma specialist named Lily Bennett, who provided invaluable guidance.
Here are some practical tips to consider:
- Address Their Questions, but Don’t Overdo It. Kids may have different worries than we expect. Understand their concerns and answer them directly. For example, if they ask about locked doors, clarify they’re for safety, not confinement.
- Encourage Open Dialogue. Let children express their emotions and fears. Identify their main concerns and discuss safety plans, escape routes, and check-in calls to provide comfort.
- Prepare for Regression. It’s normal for kids to become clingy during stressful times. Be ready to support them through their intense feelings without judgment.
- Recognize Adult Anxiety. Talking about mass shootings can be more frightening for adults than for kids since we visualize all the horror. Keep conversations centered on your child’s feelings to prevent adding to their anxiety.
- Manage Your Own Fears. Reflect on your feelings and create your own emergency plans. Seek support from other adults and engage with community or school safety initiatives.
Parenting can be a daunting task, especially with the persistent threat of violence. We naturally worry for our children’s safety and feel a connection to grieving families we see on the news. To provide the best protection in an unpredictable world, we must engage in these difficult conversations and lead by example.
And yes, after the kids are tucked in, it’s perfectly okay to indulge in a glass of wine or a good cry—after all, we’re only human.
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In summary, the reality of mass shootings necessitates that we prepare our children for potentially dangerous situations. By addressing their fears and fostering open communication, we can help them feel secure in an uncertain world—while also remembering to take care of our own emotional health.