8 Essential Conversations to Have with Your Teenage Son About Sex

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As a parent of a teenage son, I often feel out of my depth. I mean, who thought I’d be navigating this tricky terrain without a manual? I didn’t consider these awkward talks while wishing for him to join our family one snowy December night. Now, I find myself wanting to impart wisdom about respect, manners, and intimacy in a way that resonates with him.

While I could conveniently avoid the subject until I’m drowning in a glass of wine, I know that these conversations are crucial. I want him to grow into a gentleman who respects himself and others, especially in intimate situations. So here are the key points I want to pass on:

1. Hands Off: Never place someone’s hand on your genitals. If they’re interested, they’ll initiate. Let them take the lead, and if you’re reaching out, always ask first.
2. No One Owes You Anything: If someone changes their mind about being intimate, respect that. Don’t pressure or manipulate them into doing something they clearly don’t want to do. Just accept their decision and move on.
3. Be Honest About Intentions: If you’re just looking for fun, make that clear upfront. It’s better to set expectations before getting too intimate; feelings can get complicated otherwise.
4. Keep Your Mouth Shut: Never gossip about a girl or make derogatory comments behind her back. Words can be damaging, and it’s important to treat others with kindness.
5. Talk Respectfully About Sex: Avoid referring to sex in crude terms like “I need to get laid.” You don’t “need” anything from anyone; learn to handle your urges responsibly.
6. Use Protection: Always use condoms. They protect against STDs and unplanned pregnancies. Picture that crying baby or tantrum-throwing toddler—it could be yours. Use protection, or face the consequences.
7. Treat Others as You Want to Be Treated: This is the golden rule for a reason. Be considerate and compassionate; don’t just think about yourself.
8. Consent is Key: You need clear consent for any physical interaction. If someone is under the influence or unable to communicate clearly, that is not consent. Stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves.

We’ve had the necessary talks about protection and the risks involved in intimacy, but I won’t shy away from teaching my son the importance of respect and responsibility. Our boys should learn these lessons from us, not from random peers. And to any future girlfriends, you can thank me later for these lessons!

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Summary

Having open and honest conversations about sex with your teenage son is crucial for his development into a respectful and responsible adult. From understanding consent to using protection and treating others well, these lessons are vital for fostering healthy relationships.