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When You’re Not Part of the ‘Cool Mom’ Club
Dear Fellow Un-Cool Moms,
I’m reaching out to all you moms who brave the school drop-off and feel like you’ve stepped into an alternate universe—a high school redux where the popular crowd is now made up of moms donning Lululemon leggings and cheeky tees. Do you find yourself gazing in awe at these chic moms, decked out in lipstick and stylish bags, Starbucks in one hand and perfectly groomed kiddos in the other?
Meanwhile, I’m just trying to make it to school in pants. My hands are usually juggling an oddly dressed child while I shove the remains of their breakfast into their mouth with the other hand. And let’s not forget the permission slips that my whimsical child has neglected to hand over, making me panic about whether he’ll miss the field trip starting in five minutes.
When my son started kindergarten, I realized I might have overlooked something by enrolling him in preschool in a different town. At the time, it made sense since I was working there, but I didn’t consider all the playdates, library readings, and park outings happening in our new school district. I was too busy adapting to the whirlwind of motherhood.
On that first day of school, I was taken aback to see many moms already mingling. They were hugging each other’s kids, and the whole scene felt so joyous. My son and I stood back, feeling the gap between us and them—a chasm measured in shared experiences, late-night mojitos, and laughter. It quickly became clear: some moms care deeply about their school drop-off look, while others (like me) just aim to make it out the door.
I’ve tried to fit in a bit, but the effort feels overwhelming. These “cool moms” have a long history together, bonding over everything from sleepless nights to toddler milestones. I often feel like an outsider, and when I do get invited to their gatherings, it’s a stark reminder of the experiences we haven’t shared.
So, to all you moms who feel left out of the “cool mom” clique—whether you’ve been too busy working, just moved to town, or simply don’t care about fitting in—I see you. You’re the ones in pajamas with a child sporting a sticky face and fries tumbling out of your minivan. You’re my tribe. Let’s indulge in some carbs together.
For now, I’ll cherish the wonderful friendships I’ve formed away from the schoolyard and scroll past the Facebook posts showcasing those glamorous mom gatherings and #blessed moments. It’s probably for the best; I’m not sure I’d keep up with all the cuticle maintenance anyway.
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In summary, if you find yourself feeling out of place in the mom scene, remember there are others like you. Embrace your authentic self and the friendships that truly matter.