I’m Not Your Mom Friend, and That’s Okay!

home insemination Kit

Hey Lisa,

I’m writing to address your numerous invites for our fabulous mom outings, particularly the one at TGI Friday’s. Sorry for not replying sooner, but I was caught in a minor crisis involving my cat and a rogue laser pointer.

Regrettably, I have to decline this week’s TGI Friday’s gathering and your upcoming “Let’s Get Cozy” candle party. As intriguing as that sounds, I’m also going to have to pass on Bunco and “Crafts with Critters” (I’m still trying to understand the zoo’s involvement in that).

Honestly, it’s time to be upfront: I don’t want to be your mom friend.

I know this might come as a shock since our kids are inseparable, but let’s be real—there’s a good chance they’ll be plotting against each other by next week, so it’s probably wise for us to keep some distance.

Reasons for My Decision

1. I’m not exactly a people person. You seem lovely, truly, but socializing drains me. I can manage small talk for a few hours at work, but when it’s my time? I’m all about Netflix and sweatpants, sans bra, thank you very much.
2. Chitchat isn’t my thing. I find it exhausting to discuss my husband’s job or my kids’ sports skills with a bunch of women I just met. Seriously, why do we care about each other’s kids’ soccer skills after five minutes of knowing each other?
3. My kids’ extracurriculars? Not my concern. I noticed your little one has a packed schedule filled with activities every day. That sounds like my personal hell. The thought of shuttling my child around every night and then venting about it to other parents? No, thanks.
4. I already have my crew. Sure, we tell our kids that friendship is endless, but in reality, I prefer a tight-knit group of true friends. The ones who would help me dispose of a body if needed—figuratively speaking, of course! I mean you no harm, Lisa, just making a point.
5. Trust issues? Oh, you bet. High school taught me how messy things can get when women with differing opinions come together. I avoid drama like the plague; the only thing I want to dissect is a gigantic plate of nachos.
6. I’m not against new friendships, but I believe they should happen organically. Being pressured into a TGI Friday’s ladies’ night feels like my own version of purgatory.
7. My real friends understand me completely. They know my quirks, my offbeat humor, and have witnessed me sob over a rom-com. They’re honest, and that’s what I love about them.

So, I have to decline your invitation to join the mom squad. But to be fair, we probably wouldn’t have clicked anyway.

For more insights, check out this article on intracervical insemination—it might be right up your alley. Also, if you’re exploring options, Make a Mom has solid resources for home insemination. And don’t forget to visit the CDC’s pregnancy page for reliable information.

To sum it up: I’m neither a fan of social gatherings nor the mom-friend label. I cherish my cozy solitude and the few friends who understand my oddities.