From the moment a baby arrives, once all the fingers, toes, and health checks are done, every mom fervently hopes for one thing: a baby who sleeps well. Ideally, this would happen soon—definitely not on the first night or even in the initial weeks, but as quickly as possible. After all, sleep is crucial for surviving the chaos of motherhood.
My first child was an absolute nightmare when it came to sleep. To clarify, she started off as a decent sleeper, hitting that glorious milestone of sleeping through the night by about six weeks. However, as soon as she began to drop off the growth chart, I found myself waking her every two hours to feed her, which effectively taught her how to be a terrible sleeper. Awesome, right? Even after we no longer needed those midnight feedings, she continued to wake up, and if I didn’t rush to her side, she would cry until she threw up. Two long years of this.
Is your little one shaping up to be another poor sleeper? Here’s a humorous guide through the five stages of grief that every mom experiences when she realizes her baby may not be a champion snoozer. Which stage are you in?
1. Denial
This stage usually kicks in after the first few weeks. Denial can be a long-lasting coping mechanism. You cling to the hope that things will improve. Surely, it has to get better eventually, right? You’ve heard about babies falling into a routine, but there are endless reasons yours might not be: perhaps your baby is a fast-growing little munchkin, or it’s just a pesky sleep regression. You might even think, “People are just lying!” Okay, maybe there’s a slight issue, but denial feels safer.
2. Anger
Anger can strike anytime from a few weeks in to around six months old. The reality that sleepless nights are here to stay hits hard. As you hear other parents bragging about their babies sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, that familiar thought creeps in: “It’s. Not. Fair.” You might even find yourself resenting those parents and questioning why your own childhood was so blissful when they were an angel baby. That Baby Whisperer book? You can’t help but give it the finger whenever you pass it.
3. Bargaining
This is often the phase where you either hire a sleep consultant or give in to the pressure from friends to try out various sleep training methods. You might be willing to try anything to catch some Z’s, even if it feels cruel—just kidding! (Or am I?) You may also find yourself giving in to the temptation of co-sleeping just to avoid those endless trips out of bed. “Oh, it’ll just be a few weeks until we get past this cold/teething/sleep regression!” Yeah, right.
4. Depression
Around the 5 to 6 month mark, the reality sinks in that your sleep situation isn’t changing anytime soon. It’s a tough pill to swallow. You’re stuck in a cycle of attempting to re-train your baby every time they hit a sleep regression, or you’re resigned to the fact that your bedroom is now a permanent nursery. Romance with your partner? Forget it. You’re too exhausted. It feels hopeless, and the days blend into one long, sleep-deprived blur.
5. Acceptance
Eventually, you reach a point of acceptance (or give up, which can also be seen as acceptance). You start to drink that extra cup of coffee in the morning and embrace the idea of dozing off during your favorite shows. You realize that this phase won’t last forever. One day, your child will sleep soundly through the loudest thunderstorm while you’ll reminisce about those exhausting nights. And if you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, at least there’s always another cup of coffee waiting for you!
For more insights into this journey and to connect with others who understand the sleepless struggle, check out our other post on home insemination kit and explore the wonderful resources available on artificial insemination.
Summary
Every mom faces a unique set of challenges when it comes to their baby’s sleep habits. Acknowledging the stages of grief—from denial to acceptance—can help navigate through the sleepless nights with a bit of humor and camaraderie. Remember, this phase won’t last forever, and a good night’s sleep might just be around the corner.