Religion has always been a part of my life in some form. I was raised in a Catholic household, tied the knot in a Lutheran ceremony, and now I find wisdom in both Buddhist and Taoist philosophies. But let’s be clear: I don’t identify as religious. I don’t subscribe to the idea that one belief system holds all the answers, and I’m not a fan of the organized religion business model.
So when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter in late 2012, my partner and I faced some tough choices—some decisions that might raise a few eyebrows within our family. The first time we discussed it, our kid was barely the size of a Brussels sprout.
“Are you planning to get the baby baptized?”
I took a deep breath. I knew what was coming, so I gathered my thoughts before replying. I couldn’t just say “no.”
“Well, actually, we’ve decided not to. We’re open to the idea of raising our child with religion, but we think it’s best to let our little one decide for themselves when they’re older.”
Good answer, right? Apparently not, as I was met with an uncomfortable silence.
Oh, I had braced myself for silence, anger, and tears—but what came next was downright shocking.
“But you have to baptize the baby! If you don’t, and something happens, they’ll… they’ll go to Hell, right?”
Oh dear, I thought. Did she really just say that? Instead of reacting with anger, I simply smiled and changed the subject. We would revisit this later, and we did—many times over the next nine months.
Fast forward to today: the topic hardly ever comes up. Why? Because I addressed their concerns head-on and, honestly, time has made it irrelevant. Plus, my daughter has turned out to be one of the kindest, most empathetic kids around.
At just three years old, she’s polite, compassionate, and grounded. And she’s not alone. A 2015 study published in Current Biology found that children raised without religion often exhibit more generosity compared to their peers from Christian or Muslim backgrounds.
In this study, kids were given 30 stickers and told they could keep 10 for themselves. When they learned some classmates wouldn’t receive any stickers, those from non-religious households shared significantly more. That’s right—those not raised in religious environments tended to be more forgiving and tolerant, while their religious counterparts showed harsher judgments.
While I can’t speak for every child, I can say my daughter is incredibly generous and understanding. She’s the kind of kid who shares her toys and snacks, checks on her dad when he’s under the weather, and shows genuine concern for strangers in distress. She offers hugs and tissues to those in need and knows the importance of saying “please,” “thank you,” and “I’m sorry.”
She doesn’t act this way because of a holy book; she does it because it’s simply the right thing to do.
So, while many people may find values like generosity and empathy through religion, plenty of others, like my daughter, do not. Kindness isn’t reserved for the faithful—people are capable of goodness irrespective of religious beliefs. And I’m committed to nurturing the best little human I can.
For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this post on Intracervical Insemination. If you’re curious about at-home insemination, Make a Mom provides excellent resources on the subject. Also, for those considering IVF, the NHS offers fantastic information.
In summary, raising a child without religion doesn’t equate to raising a ‘bad’ person. My daughter exemplifies the values of kindness and generosity that transcend religious teachings, showing that empathy is a human trait, not a religious one.