Let’s face it, becoming a parent introduces a whole new vocabulary to your life, and “cockblocker” is definitely one of them. I had my first child, and suddenly, the term took on a whole new meaning. Picture this: my husband and I trying to reconnect post-baby, only to be interrupted by the relentless cries of our tiny human just a few feet away.
Fast forward to that fateful moment when I exclaimed, “Can someone please make that baby stop ruining the mood?” My husband chuckled and said, “What a little cockblocker!” And just like that, our once-smooth path to marital bliss became riddled with interruptions—cue the kids!
With marriage and parenthood comes the hilarity of realizing that intimate moments are now a rare commodity. I mean, who knew that a simple request for privacy would turn into a comedic routine of “Can we have just three minutes, okay, make that two, or maybe just 45 seconds of uninterrupted time?” Spoiler alert: it rarely happens.
Those tiny cockblockers have the worst timing. You finally get the kids to bed after a lovely date night, and just as you prepare for some magic, one of them suddenly needs a drink, a bathroom break, or a monster check. And just when you think you’ve got a moment alone, in walks a little one with a scraped knee, demanding attention.
At some point, you have to take charge of your love life. No, prioritizing intimacy doesn’t make you a bad parent; it shows you care about your relationship. After all, if you wait for the perfect moment, you might find yourself in a nursing home, reminiscing about the good old days while an aide interrupts your romance to check your blood pressure!
It’s essential to remember that your relationship existed long before the kids came along. Establishing some ground rules while they’re young can help keep the spark alive. Here’s a quick rundown of what those rules might look like:
- When the bedroom door is closed and locked, knocking and yelling are only allowed in cases of major emergencies—like severe injuries or surprise visits from grandparents.
- Teach the kids that Mommy and Daddy need private time to “talk.” This important discussion can take longer than expected, so they should be entertained elsewhere. Hiding in closets might be a fun option!
- When it’s bedtime, “stay in your room” means just that. If they need something, they should remember that Mom and Dad are “sleeping” very soundly. If they wake us up, it could lead to grumpy parents for the next decade.
- Once they reach their teenage years and start to grasp what’s happening behind closed doors, just give them some cash for ice cream and suggest they take a drive—preferably out of town.
Having kids doesn’t mean you have to stop exploring your intimate side, even if it requires a bit more creativity and mental fortitude to drown out the chaos. So fight the good fight, parents!
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In summary, while kids can be the ultimate mood killers, it’s essential to prioritize your relationship and create space for intimacy amidst the chaos of parenthood. With a little creativity and some ground rules, you can keep the flame alive.