15 Tips for Raising a Fierce Girl

My daughter is 5, and let me tell you, she’s a fierce little warrior. I’m not just saying that because I’m her mom; this kid is tough. When she tumbles, she brushes off the blood and keeps going. This year, she was the only girl on her soccer team and scored the majority of the goals. On the playground, she stands up for herself against the minor injustices that pop up among her peers. One time, when I picked her up from preschool, she was furious because the boys wouldn’t let her join their race—turns out, it was because she kept winning!

Raising a fierce girl isn’t always a walk in the park. It involves navigating her strong opinions and big feelings, and I know I’ll be visiting her kindergarten teacher often! But we want her to keep all that spunk as she grows. She uses her voice, calls us out when we’re wrong, and never apologizes just for the sake of it.

At 40, I’m still figuring it all out, so here’s how we’re ensuring she stays fierce:

Encourage Her Voice
We let her order her own food at restaurants and talk to adults like equals. If something’s bothering her, she knows to bring it up with her teachers.
Celebrate the Messy Stuff
We embrace dirt, bugs, and all things messy. I don’t scream when a spider lands on me, so she sees all creatures as friends.
Nightly Roughhousing
Wrestling matches are a regular occurrence, usually instigated by my husband. I’ve read that roughhousing helps build resilience, so I just smile and let it happen.
Bodily Functions Welcome
Yes, we’re working on manners, but we don’t treat burping and farting like taboo subjects. It’s all in good fun here!
Stay Calm in Chaos
When spills happen or someone gets hurt, we don’t freak out. We keep our cool to show her that accidents are part of life.
Smart Toys Only
We choose toys that spark her imagination. She builds towers and designs train tracks just as much as she plays dress-up.
Introduce Fierce Role Models
I may not be a superhero, but I challenge myself with new things—like skiing at 38. I want her to see that courage comes in many forms.
Embrace Choices and Mistakes
We celebrate failures because they’re stepping stones to success. Learning to make good choices now will help her later, especially when she’s behind the wheel.
Trust Her Instincts
We teach her to listen to that little voice inside that says when something feels off. Our job is to nurture it, not silence it.
Active Listening
We make an effort to truly listen when she speaks. She has a lot to say, and we want her to know she’s valued.
The Great Outdoors
She’s learned how to pee in the woods—it’s a survival skill!
Teach Mutual Respect
We have ongoing conversations about how to express wants without being bossy. It’s all about respect on both sides.
Crying is Okay
We remind her that crying isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a healthy way to process emotions.
Explore Different Interests
We expose her to a variety of activities, from skateboarding to treehouse building, to see what ignites her passion.
Let Go of Perfection
Sometimes she walks out wearing the most mismatched outfits, but if it empowers her to choose her clothes, I’m all for it.

So there you have it! She’s only 5, but I’m hopeful that as she grows into adulthood, she’ll be an unstoppable force. In the meantime, we’re just trying to survive this wild ride of childhood!

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Summary: Raising a fierce girl involves encouraging her voice, celebrating her unique interests, and fostering resilience through playful interactions. By allowing her to express herself, embrace messiness, and learn from failures, we can help her grow into a strong, confident woman.

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