Why on Earth Are Parents Holding onto Their Kids’ Baby Teeth?

happy pregnant womanself insemination kit

The other night, my son lost a molar, and let me tell you, it was a bloody affair. I mean, we’re talking about a gruesome scene straight out of a horror movie. The sight of that tooth, with its root still attached, was just plain gross.

When I first caught wind of parents stashing away their children’s baby teeth, I thought it was a prank. Seriously, who in their right mind saves those things? If I had it my way, baby teeth would go straight into the trash or down the drain, just like those forgotten toenails and hair clippings.

But lo and behold, it’s no joke. There’s a whole movement of parents out there who have a sentimental attachment to their kids’ baby teeth, going to ridiculous lengths to keep them safe.

I totally understand wanting to hold onto the past and feel that connection with our little ones. I mean, I still have my son’s old blanket tucked away in my nightstand. But body parts? That’s a whole different level of attachment. Just thinking about an old, bloody tooth makes me gag. And when my partner casually mentioned that he might have a couple of our kids’ baby teeth in his nightstand, I chose to zone out. Fingers in ears, singing “lalalalala.” I can’t even manage to keep all of my kids’ art projects organized; there’s no way I’m tracking baby teeth. I just don’t have that kind of ambition.

If you’re one of those tooth hoarders, I’m not here to judge. Well, maybe a little gagging, but no judgment. Everyone has their quirks, right? But let’s be real: this fixation on baby teeth is getting out of hand. Parents are not just saving these teeth; they’re actually spending good money on keepsake kits designed specifically for them!

What on earth is going on? Parents are so excited about these teeth-saving kits that they can’t help but shout about it online. These kits don’t just hold teeth; they also have designated spots for umbilical cords (seriously) and even something called lanugo, which is that fuzzy hair newborns sometimes have. Who knew people were collecting that too?

And then there’s the tooth monster doll. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a recipe for nightmares. And get this: there’s even jewelry made from baby teeth! Yes, you heard correctly—$240 earrings with a piece of your child’s tooth embedded in them. This is why we can’t have nice things, folks.

Our standards for keepsakes have gone completely off the rails. Sure, I can get behind a little lock of hair in an album, but we’re talking about teeth here. These are remnants, old bones that fell out of our kids’ mouths. They’re usually not the prettiest sight and often have a bit of dried blood on them—yuck!

I’m all for a sprinkle of Tooth Fairy magic, but trying to sneak in and out of a sleeping child’s room is already a challenge. Holding onto a stash of old teeth in a fancy box, crafting a creepy doll, or turning teeth into jewelry is just too much. What’s next? A collection of toenail clippings? A jar of hair? A vial of blood like Angelina and Billy Bob? Stop the insanity!

Look, if you’re a tooth-saver, I’m not going to judge you too harshly. I might be grossed out, but I could still be your friend. Go ahead and collect those quirky little teeth; I’ll happily pretend I don’t see any baby teeth in my partner’s drawer. But if you start splurging on tooth earrings? That’s where I draw the line.

If you want to learn more about pregnancy and home insemination, check out our blog post here. And for those looking for an authority on at-home insemination kits, visit Make a Mom. For a deeper dive into related topics, you can also refer to this excellent resource.

In summary, while it’s understandable to want to hold onto memories of our children’s early years, some keepsakes—like baby teeth—can go too far. Nostalgia is one thing, but saving teeth? That’s a whole different ballgame.