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Teaching My Sons About Real Bodies: A Mom’s Perspective
I may be surrounded by a bunch of boys, but thankfully, they’re still young enough that I don’t have to deal with hidden magazines or sneaky browsing history—yet. I wish I could believe they’d remain blissfully unaware of anything even remotely related to sex until they’re older (like 25, maybe?), but let’s be real: that’s not happening. The curiosity is lurking around the corner, ready to pounce.
Before they start to oggle those glossy images of impossibly sculpted women, I’m taking the opportunity to show them what a real female body looks like—mine.
In our household, modesty isn’t exactly the order of the day. I don’t walk around in the nude, and I find myself constantly reminding them to “put on some pants!” But I don’t shy away from changing clothes in front of them, leaving the bathroom door open while showering, or nursing my babies without a cover. I want them to see what a real woman’s body looks like.
If I don’t show them, their first impressions of naked women will come from those airbrushed images in magazines and movies. What kind of unrealistic expectations will they have as they grow up? And what woman could possibly measure up?
Sure, I have my own insecurities about my post-baby body. But for the sake of my boys (and their future partners), I put on a brave face and act as if I’m totally confident in my skin. When they spot my stretch marks, I proudly explain that they’re like badges earned from bringing a new life into the world—after all, guys love a good gaming analogy!
As much as I want to cringe when they poke my squishy belly, I let them. Yes, I want to shout, “Stop touching my flab!” and retreat to the nearest oversized T-shirt or, let’s be honest, a liposuction clinic. But I don’t, because right now, my body is their only reference point for what women look like. They see nothing wrong with it, and that is simply beautiful.
I emphasize how strong my body is, and they witness me exercising and making healthy food choices while still indulging in my favorite desserts. Although I might internally groan about my jeans feeling tighter or the numbers on the scale, I remain proud of my body in front of my boys. It’s essential for them to understand that a woman’s worth isn’t measured by appearance.
Creating a positive body image isn’t just for daughters. It’s also about helping boys feel confident in their own skin and understanding that real beauty exists in the natural, unfiltered forms of women. I don’t want to do them—or any women they might see in the future—the disservice of teaching them that sagging skin or a little extra weight is something to be embarrassed about. I want them to recognize that this is what’s normal, not the unrealistic, digitally altered images they’ll inevitably encounter.
Yes, they’ll be distracted by those perfectly sculpted physiques, but I have hope that they’ll remember that those aren’t the standards they should hold women to, not ever.
There will come a time when I’ll need to cover up around them—surely I’ll eventually hear, “Ugh, Mom, put on some clothes!” or they’ll learn to knock before bursting into the bathroom (which sounds like a dream). But until that day arrives, I’ll let them explore my stretch marks and laugh at how my body jiggles as I grab a towel.
For now, I want to plant the seed so that when they’re older, if their partners ever lament about their thighs, my sons will respond with, “They’re perfect just the way they are.” And they’ll mean it.