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When a Stay-at-Home Mom Decides to Rejoin the Workforce
By: Jake Thompson
I always anticipated that my partner, Sarah, would eventually go back to work. After several years of being a stay-at-home mom, she felt the urge to pursue her career once more. Although we managed financially with her at home, I knew this was something she truly desired. Naturally, I was fully supportive of her decision.
Over our 13 years together, we’ve navigated various arrangements. When we first tied the knot at the young age of 22, both of us were working. Sarah held a full-time position while I juggled part-time work to complete my college degree. After I graduated and headed to grad school, Sarah took on the role of a stay-at-home mom for several years.
Once I finished my studies, I worked two jobs while Sarah took online classes and cared for our kids. There was even a brief period when I stayed home while she completed an internship. While we’ve experienced many transitions, I must admit that her being home to care for our children was, from my viewpoint, the simplest arrangement. I benefited significantly from it; knowing our kids were in her capable hands allowed me the freedom to focus on my career without worrying about childcare.
When Sarah received an offer to work on a gardening program at our children’s school, her excitement was palpable. It was an ideal fit for her background in horticulture; the position offered summers off with the kids and affordable daycare right at the school. Most importantly, it provided her with a chance to step outside the home.
Being a stay-at-home parent can feel quite isolating at times. Sarah and I had discussed this previously, but it wasn’t until I spent time in her position that I truly understood. When she finally approached me about the job, I hesitated. I wanted to share in her excitement, but I also recognized that this change would complicate our already busy lives.
Standing on our porch in Oregon, as our kids played in the yard, I asked her, “Are you certain this is what you want? When we married, your primary goal was to be a stay-at-home mom. Are you sure you want to leave that behind? We’re managing fine financially, so it’s not necessary.”
Without missing a beat, she replied, “Yes.” After a brief pause, she continued, “I love our kids, but I want to do something beyond just being a mom. I want to use my degree, and I don’t care what anyone thinks. This is for me.”
I reflected on her unwavering support throughout the years—how she managed the household while I pursued my education, proofread my papers, and moved with me across states for various opportunities. Despite the added complexity, I recognized that her working would enrich her life, and as her husband, it was essential to support her, just as she had always supported me.
So, we took the plunge.
Now, after nearly a year at the school, I’ve had to step up my involvement in childcare. While I’ve always contributed, our mornings have become a bit more chaotic with both of us preparing for work and getting the kids ready. I’ve also been helping her with grant writing and building garden beds on weekends. It’s a reciprocal relationship, where I support her just as she has always supported me.
Initially, I thought my assistance was out of obligation, but now I realize it’s about partnership. When a stay-at-home mom transitions back to work, it should be about teamwork and support, rather than a sense of owing something. It’s essential to encourage each other’s dreams and aspirations, creating a mutually supportive environment.
Now, our days are planned around both of our work schedules, and we navigate our responsibilities together. While it can be stressful at times, seeing Sarah happy in her new role makes it all worthwhile.
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Summary
When a stay-at-home mom like Sarah decides to return to work, it can transform family dynamics. The journey involves navigating new responsibilities and re-establishing routines. Ultimately, it’s about partnership and mutual support, ensuring both partners can pursue their aspirations while maintaining a balanced family life.