For seven long years, I found myself on a relentless quest for answers to help my son, Oliver. I felt adrift, isolated, and overwhelmed—like I was failing as a mom. I considered reaching out to his pediatrician or exploring counseling options, but every time things seemed to get a tad better, I hesitated. Yet, the cycle of chaos was always lurking, and eventually, we would find ourselves back in confusion. Throughout this journey as a parent of a child with ADHD, I’ve gathered some invaluable lessons.
1. Listen to Your Instincts.
There was always something off, and I could feel it deep down. It’s tough to articulate, but my intuition drove me to scour every book and article that offered a glimmer of hope for effective parenting. Friends and family insisted that Oliver was just “a typical boy,” but I knew it was more complex than that.
2. Don’t Hesitate to Seek Help.
Despite reading countless articles and joining support groups, I felt stuck. My husband and I finally decided it was time for professional help and found a behavioral counselor specializing in children. Within two months, we had a roadmap and, more importantly, knowledgeable guidance that steered our family toward healthier dynamics.
3. Teachers Vary in Their Understanding.
Some educators painted Oliver as the culprit behind every issue in their classroom, while others were fantastic, keeping lines of communication open and checking in regularly. Regardless of their approach, I know no one will care as deeply as I do about my son. I keep his teachers updated on his counseling progress and offer strategies to support him in the classroom, understanding they have many other students to consider.
4. Counseling Benefits Everyone.
There are days when I find myself losing my cool, acting just like Oliver in his ADHD moments. I’ve yelled and stomped my feet, only to catch my reflection and realize I’m not setting a good example. It was then that I began applying the same techniques he was learning in therapy. Simple mindfulness exercises, like taking a deep breath and imagining my favorite dessert, have helped me remain calm. Understanding ADHD as a brain difference gave me perspective; it’s not just a behavioral issue, it’s a physical reality he was born with.
5. ADHD Demands Increased Accountability.
Before Oliver’s diagnosis, I prided myself on being an authoritative parent with high expectations. However, I learned that this approach didn’t mesh well with his impulsive nature. After conducting research, I loosened my expectations, only to find his behavior deteriorating. When I discussed this with his counselor, she reassured me that a balance of accountability and support was essential for children with ADHD.
6. ADHD Presents Itself in Unique Ways.
ADHD manifests differently in each child, much like Autism. Before Oliver’s diagnosis, I had a stereotypical image in my mind—an uncontrollable ball of energy. But symptoms vary widely, and understanding this diversity is crucial.
7. Not Everyone Gets It.
ADHD has become a buzzword, with a significant percentage of kids diagnosed. Some people dismiss it, attributing it to poor parenting. As parents, we often battle self-doubt. Surrounding ourselves with understanding allies rather than judgmental naysayers is vital.
Our journey is ongoing, and I embrace the challenges ahead. Oliver is an extraordinary kid—imaginative, compassionate, and with a knack for comedy. I’m grateful to be his mom and to be part of his remarkable journey.
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