Let’s talk about something that seems to have gone missing in our society: compassion for pregnant women. Online, in comment threads, and even in esteemed publications, I see too many people telling expectant mothers to zip it when we voice our pregnancy woes. The reasons given are often baffling, self-centered, and downright rude. Honestly, I’m fed up with being told how I “should” feel during this rollercoaster ride of pregnancy.
Let’s be real—pregnancy isn’t always a blissful journey filled with glowing skin and endless joy. More often, it’s a 10-month marathon of uncomfortable symptoms, some of which are, quite frankly, embarrassing and painful. Yes, we’re told we’re miraculous, but there are days when I just want to throw my hands up, indulge in a pint of ice cream, and grumble about my grievances, regardless of the inevitable heartburn that will follow.
You might look at me and not see the discomfort I’m in or the anxiety swirling around my next OB appointment. You probably don’t know about the struggle of wondering how much of my prenatal vitamins actually reach my baby after I toss them back up, or how I swing between extreme constipation and sudden diarrhea. And yes, let’s not forget the lovely month-long yeast infection. Delightful!
So when I say I’m tired, or that just the smell of chicken makes me gag, or that I’m seriously missing brie and a glass of wine, your response shouldn’t be some cliché like, “You knew what you signed up for!” or “Some women can’t even get pregnant, so you shouldn’t complain!” or “You should feel so blessed!”
In a world where we preach “It takes a village,” let’s make that village one that supports pregnant women with kindness and understanding. Yes, I will vent. Yes, I may shed a tear. And yes, I might lose my cool at times. When that happens, it’s not the moment for your judgment or your unsolicited advice on how I ought to behave.
Instead, how about trying any of these thoughtful gestures?
- Check in on me—just me, not my partner or my kids.
- Listen actively and supportively without diving into advice.
- Offer me some cake or steak (depending on my craving du jour).
- Share a funny story (preferably after I’ve relieved my bladder, ahem).
- Treat me to lunch or tackle the dishes while I take a breather.
- Ask if I need anything—like pickles, cake, or steak.
- Offer to give my tired feet a rub.
- Distract me with exciting topics, like baby names (and maybe some cake).
- Just listen again.
- And for good measure, throw in some cake!
Pregnancy and parenting are tough. No one can truly grasp my individual challenges or feelings since every mom’s experience is unique, even in the same circumstances. But we can all agree that moms hold a vital role in our society, right? So let us vent without guilt or shame.
To all the mothers and mothers-to-be out there, I see you! I feel your discomfort and stress, and I wholeheartedly support your need to let it all out. Treat yourself to whatever you’re craving, and kick back for a while. You’ve earned that break.
And to those who tell women like me to hush about our struggles—may you experience the joys of hemorrhoids and an unwelcome yeast infection!
For more on navigating pregnancy and home insemination, check out this post on intracervicalinsemination.com. Another great resource on this topic is progyny.com, and if you’re looking for a reliable kit, visit makeamom.com.
Summary
Expectant mothers deserve the space to express their frustrations and discomforts without judgment. Rather than silencing them, we should offer support, understanding, and a bit of humor. Pregnancy is challenging, and it’s essential to create a compassionate environment for moms-to-be, allowing them to vent and feel validated during this significant life phase.