The last place you’d expect a wine joke to flop is among a group of mom bloggers. After all, they practically birthed phrases like “Wine Not Whine,” “Mommy’s Sippy Cup,” and “Wine O’Clock.”
I found myself at a book launch in Atlanta for a fellow author who has quite the following in the mom blogging world. She rose to fame sharing hilariously relatable parenting stories just like we did. As we all gathered around her like eager fans, we shared tales of toddler tantrums, diaper disasters, and the dreaded Lego landmines. We dished on our mutual dislike for certain kids’ shows—yes, Peppa Pig, I’m looking at you.
The conversation took a turn toward our careers: Where have you been published? Which editors do you love? What’s the pay like? Have you ever had a piece go viral? I was the only one, aside from the popular Author Lady, who could say yes to that last question. I recounted my whirlwind experience of going viral, explaining that while it was thrilling to connect with so many people, it was also a chaotic ride. My online life exploded for 48 hours—I received a mix of praise, trolls, and even some hate mail. And yes, tabloids had a field day trying to dissect my personal life. It was overwhelming.
“So how did you handle it?” the Author Lady asked.
I chuckled and said, “Well, I added ‘drink wine’ to my to-do list, and being the over-achiever that I am, I polished off the whole bottle.”
Instead of laughter, I was met with awkward smiles. The punchline didn’t land, and I sensed something was off.
“Oh, that wouldn’t be me. I’ve been sober for years,” she replied.
My laughter instantly vanished. Stumbling for words, I felt my face flush. She went on to share that she was a recovering cocaine addict and didn’t drink alcohol at all.
I can’t recall what I mumbled afterward, but I distinctly remember buying her book—maybe in a misguided attempt to make up for my thoughtlessness.
How did I miss the signs? I glanced around after the Author Lady moved on to chat with other enthusiastic mom bloggers. The book launch was completely dry—just an array of fruits, veggies, and water. The only other gatherings I’d attended without alcohol were kiddie birthday parties and baby showers hosted by the more traditional southern ladies. It dawned on me that I had been completely oblivious to the sober atmosphere until it smacked me right in the face.
Driving home that night, I felt a wave of shame. The last thing I wanted was to make someone struggling with addiction feel uncomfortable about their choice to abstain. That’s the opposite of support.
That moment reshaped my whole view on mommy drinking jokes. They’re not just cringe-worthy; they can be harmful. They undermine the sobriety of those in recovery and can lead to dangerous behaviors. The culture surrounding “mommy wine” makes it seem acceptable to cope with daily stressors by reaching for a drink—or perhaps the entire bottle. For many with a complicated relationship with alcohol, this is a perilous path.
I often reevaluate my own relationship with alcohol. For a significant period, it spiraled out of control. Before I became a writer published on larger platforms, I ran a mom blog where I vented frustrations, connected with other mothers, and yes, made tired old wine jokes.
Life wasn’t funny back then. I was a frazzled mom juggling two toddlers, a shaky marriage, and feeling utterly overwhelmed. The monotony of motherhood weighed heavily on me. I felt trapped in an endless cycle.
So, I found solace in a nightly bottle of wine. I slurred through bedtime stories, often passing out in bed beside my kids. I didn’t realize I had a drinking problem because everyone around me seemed to be doing the same thing. Functioning, yes—I worked, fed my kids, and did the endless to-do lists. But I convinced myself I needed that drink at 5 PM as a way to transition into the evening.
I wanted to numb the stress of juggling motherhood and reclaim a sense of myself beyond just being a diaper-changer. I used wine to find humor in my chaotic existence, thinking that a few glasses every night could help me laugh about it all.
And I was not alone. Surveys from the CDC reveal that about half of women of childbearing age (18-44) drink alcohol, with 18% of those women engaging in binge drinking. Binge drinking, defined by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, is when blood alcohol concentration reaches 0.08 g/dL, generally around four drinks for women. Excessive drinking is harmful to health, leading to increased risks for several diseases. While moderate drinking may have some benefits, the science is murky at best.
We should really be asking ourselves: If I could find an alternative to manage the anxiety and monotony of motherhood, would I be open to it? If running could be a solution, would I choose that over a drink? What if yoga, meditation, or even binge-watching reality TV could replace my evening wine sessions?
I opted for the bottle because it was the easy way out—or so I told myself. I always had alcohol on hand. It was simple to set my kids up in front of cartoons and escape to my side porch for some “me time,” where I could zone out for an hour while still keeping an eye on them.
But I lacked any other coping mechanisms to manage the emotional demands of motherhood. My reliance on alcohol clouded my judgment, preventing me from seeking healthier alternatives.
It’s no secret that modern moms face immense pressure. It’s not just about nurturing our children’s emotional needs; we’re also expected to track their exercise, screen time, and organic food intake, all while juggling work and home responsibilities. The societal pressure to conform is relentless, with every decision scrutinized through the lens of social media.
Rather than numbing our challenges with alcohol, we should explore why so many moms feel compelled to drink in the first place. Cultural factors, such as inadequate postpartum support, systemic sexism, and economic struggles, contribute to this phenomenon. Women are expected to balance parenting and careers seamlessly, a daunting task that often leads to feelings of inadequacy.
The challenges we face as mothers are serious, not punchlines. It’s time to rethink the role of alcohol in our lives. It distracts us from addressing the real issues at hand. We need to step away from the stereotypes and strive for healthier choices—for ourselves, for other women, and for our children—living clear-headed with our eyes wide open.
In conclusion, we must move past the notion that mommy wine jokes are harmless. They can perpetuate harmful behaviors and distract us from the critical social issues we need to address as mothers today.
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