Dear Santa,
This year, I’ve embraced my crunchy lifestyle wholeheartedly. I’ve dabbled in essential oils, recycled like a pro, and even mastered the art of bone broth. So, I think I’ve earned some delightful goodies that I’ve been dreaming about. I understand shopping for someone who’s perpetually scented with patchouli can be tricky, so I’ve put together a handy list of items I’d love to unwrap this Christmas/Solstice.
Chickens and a Chicken Coop
Santa, if you only bring me one thing, make it this! While I know the foxes might have a field day and that each egg will cost me more in feed and care than those no-cage organic ones from Whole Foods, these feathered friends will be my companions. They’ll snuggle on my lap and lay eggs for my family, who, let’s be honest, aren’t the biggest fans of eggs. But hey, what’s a little chicken poop on the eggs among friends?
Canning Supplies Galore
I’m ready to can like a champ, Santa! I want everything from canning pots to jars. I’m planning to pickle, candy, and transform fresh veggies into BPA-free, aluminum-free delights. Just wait until peach season! I might end up canning so many peaches that I’ll have to share with those in need. I promise not to give anyone botulism… probably. Although, knowing me, these supplies might just gather dust in my kitchen, taunting me year after year.
Waldorf Toys, Please!
I dream of that adorable fabric elf, the enchanting wooden rainbow, and the treehouse complete with organic dolls and furniture. I want the fancy Bamboletta doll with rainbow hair and a matching doll sling. All of this, of course, is for my child… right?
A Year’s Supply of Nag Champa
You may not know this, Santa, but Nag Champa is the go-to incense for any eco-friendly mama. It masks all the less-than-pleasant scents in the house, from diaper duty to pet mishaps. It creates an atmosphere reminiscent of a college dorm, where the residents are trying to cover up more than just the lingering smell of food.
A Woven Wrap
Forget the Moby; I’m ready for something special! I need a handwoven wrap made from the finest unicorn fur and elf hair, with vibrant colors. I want it in size 6 to accommodate all my favorite baby-carrying techniques, although I doubt you’ll want to hear the details!
Breastmilk Jewelry
Imagine preserving my breastmilk in a stunning piece of jewelry! I’d send my milk off to have it crystallized or turned into a lovely locket. It’s like a sentimental relic, but personal. I simply must have it!
All the Menstrual Products
Let’s skip the traditional pads and tampons. I’m all about going unconventional! I want a Diva Cup, sea sponges, and even crocheted reusable tampons. For those heavier days, I’m looking for handmade organic pads with layers of Zorb. I want to embrace my eco-friendly menstruation journey!
That Coveted Diaper
You know the one — the limited edition diaper that everyone is after! It’s the perfect piece to complete my collection, and I just hope my baby doesn’t spoil it with a surprise mess.
Thanks for taking the time to read my wishlist, Santa. I’ll leave you gluten-free carob-walnut cookies on Christmas Eve.
With love,
A Not-Quite-Hippie Mama