During one of my countless viewings of The Nutcracker, I had a lightbulb moment: Fritz could totally be my child! I adore The Nutcracker—the enchanting music, the delightful dancing, the extravagant costumes. I’ve been fortunate enough to see it performed live multiple times. My dad took me as a child and even again in college. I even insisted my husband take me when I was pregnant with our first little one, and I dragged my sons along when they were old enough. Surprisingly, convincing boys to attend isn’t as challenging as it sounds. With sword fights, the sneaky Mouse King, and all the dazzling acrobatics, what’s not to love?
While many envision The Nutcracker as a charming tale filled with graceful ballerinas and a Sugar Plum Fairy, the story itself has a bit of a bite. Remember how Clara receives the Nutcracker as a Christmas gift from her godfather? Then her brother, Fritz, gets jealous, snatches it away, and breaks it. Honestly, that sounds like something my kids would do!
Since stepping into the parenting role, I’ve found that much of my holiday stress stems from the unrealistic expectations surrounding Christmas. My children’s wish lists seem to grow more outrageous each year, filled with everything from live pets (hedgehogs and hamsters) to noisy musical instruments (drum sets and ukuleles) and every item in the Lego catalog.
Then there’s the family tug-of-war, with relatives vying for their share of time with my kids. Plus, the endless stream of invitations and commitments, all of which seem to drain my time and finances. But the biggest source of stress? The insane expectation that kids should be well-behaved, patient, and grateful at all times, even while hopped up on sugar and kept up past bedtime. The naughty/nice list feels like an unbearable weight on energetic little ones who have no grasp of time or patience. Anyone who playfully warns a child that “Santa’s watching!” during a meltdown really needs to experience the chaos of my household.
For those who imagine a holiday season filled with cherubic children in footed pajamas, cuddling teddy bears while visions of sugar plums dance in their heads, come visit my home in December. It’s more like broken ornaments, tantrums, and a parade of time-outs. I’m seriously tempted to have a throw pillow embroidered with “Kids are why we can’t have nice things.”
Yet, The Nutcracker is a comforting reminder that all of this is perfectly normal. Kids can be cranky and overtired during the holidays. They might not always love their gifts, and no amount of coaching will help them hide their disappointment. Even adults struggle to maintain their poker faces! During the holiday season, I try to keep my expectations in check and opt for decorations that are easily replaceable. While I may never pass down a family heirloom Nutcracker (mostly because my kids will destroy it first), let’s be honest: nutcrackers aren’t the best gifts for kids anyway. You’re much better off picking something from the Lego catalog—may I suggest page 32?
If you’re interested in more parenting insights, check out one of our other blog posts on home insemination for a different perspective on family. You can also learn more about the art of assisted reproduction from the CDC, which is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, while the holidays can be chaotic and filled with unrealistic expectations, embracing the reality of parenting during this season can help alleviate some of the stress. Kids are bound to be kids, and that’s perfectly okay!