Random Acts of Kindness Aren’t Enough: Let’s Focus on Real Community Service

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When I was just a kid, I begged for an Easy-Bake Oven for Christmas. It was the ’90s, and personal pan pizzas were a hit. What could be better than whipping up a funfetti cake under a blinking light bulb? Spoiler alert: my excitement quickly fizzled when I discovered that the center of my cakes was perpetually mushy, and despite my best efforts with my tiny whisk, I was left with a chalky dessert disaster.

Kids thrive on tangible experiences. Montessori education highlights that when children are engaged in meaningful tasks, they not only learn to excel at them but also find joy in the process. In a proper Montessori setting, a child would learn to bake using real utensils and an actual oven (with adult supervision, of course).

So, it was only natural that I eventually learned to bake a funfetti cake worthy of my Girl Scout troop by using the real deal—without the Easy-Bake nonsense.

This brings me to community service that feels all too familiar to that Easy-Bake Oven experience. You might recognize it as random acts of kindness, or paying it forward. The idea is that one small good deed will lead to a chain reaction of kindness. If we make someone’s day brighter, they’ll do something nice for someone else, and then they’ll pass it on.

Sounds lovely, right? Studies show it can work.

But, like my easy-bake cakes, it often falls flat.

A quick search on Pinterest for “random acts of kindness” yields ideas like:

• Holding the door open for someone
• Helping someone carry something heavy
• Taping a bag of popcorn to a Redbox machine
• Letting someone go ahead in line
• Smiling at everyone you meet
• Returning someone’s shopping cart at the store

While these gestures embody basic human decency with a pinch of whimsy, they can mislead us and our children into thinking that this is what community service is all about.

Random acts of kindness are low-effort. They’re convenient. When done anonymously, they allow us to bypass real conversations about societal issues like poverty or racism. Teaching our kids that helping others means buying a fancy coffee for the person behind us at Starbucks shifts the focus away from the deeper conversations we should be having.

This type of community service is like a cheap imitation of the real thing. Sure, letting someone ahead in line might inspire them to pay it forward. And while spreading happiness is commendable, it shouldn’t be the end goal. Random acts of kindness can spark the beginning of community engagement, but we shouldn’t mistake them for genuine social justice efforts.

This holiday season, let’s rethink community service through the Montessori lens. Instead of sticking with the Easy-Bake approach, let’s guide our kids towards meaningful work that makes a real difference.

How this looks will vary for each family. Perhaps you want to introduce the issue of homelessness to your children. After discussing it, you could create care kits for those experiencing homelessness and distribute them in person, making eye contact and engaging in conversation.

Or maybe you discuss hunger and then donate canned goods to a local food bank, allowing your kids to help stock shelves or bag groceries for clients.

Are your children ready for more significant conversations? Last summer, I began discussing racism with my daughter, a privilege of mine as many kids face its harsh realities long before they turn four. We explored books on the Civil Rights Movement, talked about the role of protests in democracy, and even joined a family march advocating for justice.

When discussions shifted to the Standing Rock protest, my daughter was informed and engaged, asking insightful questions. We read about indigenous history, listened to music from Native American artists, and even gathered supplies for those at Standing Rock.

When it was announced that the Dakota Access Pipeline would be rerouted, I celebrated with my daughter. Her serious response: “Mom, I think the water protectors won the good fight.”

Kids instinctively know the difference between what’s real and what’s not. Just like my young self, stuck with yet another bland Easy-Bake creation, they yearn for authenticity.

In the spirit of fostering genuine growth, I encourage you to explore more about community engagement. For further insights on home insemination, check out this post on intracervical insemination. For those starting their fertility journey, Make A Mom offers valuable resources. Additionally, WebMD provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.

In summary, while random acts of kindness can be a wonderful starting point, they should not be the only tool in our community service toolbox. Let’s encourage our children to understand and engage with the real issues facing our society—so they can make a meaningful impact.