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Menopause, Seriously? I’m Not Ready for This!
It all began innocently. As the seasons shifted, I woke up one night feeling like I was in a sauna. “Oh, that’s probably my fault,” my partner joked, “I turned up the heat while I was showering. It was chilly!”
Sounds logical enough, right? Heat’s on, I’m hot, and I’m sweating. Totally normal. But lately, waking up with a damp shirt has become my new reality, and I’m couponing like a pro just to keep up with the deodorant I need.
Then there’s the back pain, which started subtly too. One day, I overdid it, staying on my feet for too long. I figured that was it — nothing out of the ordinary. But months have passed since I did anything remotely strenuous, and yet, my lower back aches almost daily. It’s like I’m perpetually preparing for my period, complete with all the delightful side effects: achy back, restless legs, extreme fatigue, bloating, and a short fuse. Seriously, even my dog isn’t safe.
Here’s the kicker: my period is as regular as clockwork. It’s not late, not light, not heavy — just doing its thing. So why didn’t I suspect earlier that I might be entering what my mom and grandma referred to as “the change”? If not for a random post on social media, I might still be clueless.
I’m 39. Thirty-nine! My body feels the toll, yet my mind insists I’m still 25. Issues that my younger self would have dubbed “old people problems” now hit me like a freight train, and suddenly, I’m furiously Googling everything about menopause.
First, I found myself searching “Do I need to see a doctor for menopause?” I mean, I didn’t consult anyone when I started my period, so what’s the protocol for the end? Who’s got the book on this stuff? Menopause seems to carry some serious stigma; no one talks about it openly, and I’m left scrambling for answers online. It’s frustrating. Why can’t I find straightforward information?
And to make matters worse, talking to people about it is a challenge. Recently, when I mentioned feeling hot, my partner made a joke about hot flashes, and let’s just say it didn’t end well. So, I think I’ll stick to my solitary struggles for now.
Interestingly, while I’m isolating myself from human interaction, I’m simultaneously experiencing the opposite of what I’m “supposed” to feel. Lack of libido and dryness? Not a problem here! My partner is thrilled, though he’s starting to wonder if I’ve secretly discovered some new “female Viagra.”
Everything feels off. Is it me, or has menopause become such a taboo topic that we can’t get clear, honest answers? Or maybe it’s just that every woman experiences it differently, and the oversimplified portrayals are misleading.
Or, perhaps I’m not even perimenopausal. Maybe I just can’t sleep, my back hurts, and it’s so hot in here that if someone doesn’t turn the air on right now, I might lose it.
Okay, scratch that last thought. I think I’ll chalk it up to those oversimplifications for now — and maybe call my doctor next week.
Summary
The author humorously recounts her unexpected experiences with menopause at the age of 39, highlighting the physical and emotional challenges that come with it. From hot flashes and persistent back pain to the confusion over libido, she expresses her frustration with the lack of straightforward information on this often-taboo topic. Ultimately, she resolves to consult her doctor while navigating this new phase of life.