It’s 9:45 p.m., and my eyelids are starting to droop as I fix a typo in my opening paragraph. My daughter calls from her room, “Mom! I’m scared! Can you come lay with me?” I ask my partner to step in for me. I’ve got a deadline looming first thing in the morning, and I need to finish before my brain decides to take a vacation.
“But I want Mommy!” my daughter wails.
“She’s busy working, sweetie,” my partner tells her.
My heart sinks a little. I can’t help but picture my daughter in some therapist’s office years down the line, saying, “My mom was always too busy working,” while she rocks back and forth on the couch.
Yes, it’s dramatic, but the guilt that comes with being a work-at-home mom is very real and something I never anticipated.
My Journey to Work-From-Home
Growing up, I always envisioned myself as a stay-at-home mom. I thought I’d work for a bit, then get married, have kids, and dive headfirst into motherhood. I did work for a time and got married, but when our first little one arrived, we simply couldn’t make ends meet without my income. So, I started a small editing business from home, which allowed me to earn some cash while keeping my skills sharp. Eventually, I craved more consistent work, so I began doing online tutoring. I tailored my hours around my partner’s schedule, and it all seemed to be working out.
Fast forward 15 years, and I’ve held at least seven work-from-home jobs, often juggling more than one at a time. For the most part, it’s been fantastic. I get to create my own schedule, be around my kids during the day, maintain my professional skills, and contribute to the family finances. I feel incredibly grateful for the opportunity to work from home all these years.
The Reality of Working From Home
But let’s be real: it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.
Working from home means my office is literally my home. There’s no clear boundary between my personal life and my professional responsibilities. I love having the flexibility to set my own hours, but that freedom can be my downfall. If I’m not careful with my time, which—let’s be honest—is not my strongest suit, it’s way too easy to mix work and home life. I often find myself working sporadically throughout the day and evening, which gives the impression that I’m constantly on the clock, even though I technically work part-time hours.
And I can’t help but worry about what my kids are picking up on. I’m physically present, but often not mentally available. They see me glued to my computer, but that doesn’t necessarily mean “work” to them. All they know is that Mom can’t always give them her undivided attention.
Bless their hearts, they don’t make it easy either. If I get up extra early to squeeze in some work before they wake up, they always seem to rise early too. And when I wait until they’re tucked in for the night to get some work done, they suddenly need to have deep, meaningful conversations just as I’m trying to focus.
I can retreat to my office, but let’s face it: when Mom’s home, she’s never truly alone. I often mitigate this by working in coffee shops, which is one of my favorite escapes. But I can’t do that every day.
The House and Its Challenges
Then there’s The House. Over the years, I’ve discovered that keeping little ones entertained without overly relying on screens usually results in a bit of chaos. Happy kids = busy kids = Mom can work without interruptions, but it also means more mess for me to deal with (or, more accurately, for the kids to help with, but that requires my guidance).
I’m also faced with the endless mountain of laundry, the shelves that always seem to need dusting, and the dishes that never stop piling up. Sure, all families deal with this, but when you’re working from home, these chores call to you all day long. I’m part of the mess and contributing to it, while simultaneously being driven crazy by it. Because work and kids take priority, the house often ends up on the back burner—until things boil over and I’m left scrambling to restore order. sigh
Finding Balance
It’s not all doom and gloom, though. I never have to miss out on my kids’ activities and enjoy plenty of quality time with them. I’ve had to learn to compartmentalize my time and set firm boundaries, which has been a valuable lesson. I’ve also had to work on shedding the guilt of working in front of my kids, although that’s still a work in progress. Thankfully, my partner pulls his weight, which helps tip the scales in favor of the positives.
I wouldn’t trade my work-from-home lifestyle for anything, and I’m immensely thankful for that freedom. However, I’d advise others not to romanticize it too much. Being a work-at-home mom offers the best of both worlds, but it also comes with its own unique set of challenges.
Conclusion
In summary, working from home as a mom can be a rewarding yet complex journey. While you enjoy flexibility and the ability to be present for your children, it also blurs the lines between work and home life. Remember to establish boundaries, manage your time wisely, and embrace both the chaos and the joy that come with this dual role. If you’re looking for more insights on the topic of home insemination, check out this excellent resource on fertility treatments.