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Motherhood: A Challenge, Not a Roadblock
“I can’t. I have a baby.” I find myself muttering this—or some variation of it—daily.
- “Coffee date?”
“Ah, the baby’s napping!” - “Dinner plans?”
“Sorry, I have to put the baby to bed.” - “Intimacy?”
“Seriously? You must be kidding me.” - “Me time?”
“Yeah, right. When exactly am I supposed to fit that in?”
But the truth is, I could easily wake the baby, have my partner handle bedtime, and indulge in a little romance. Yet, for a mix of valid and not-so-valid reasons, I often choose not to.
Every decision we make is a choice.
One evening, while tidying up and lamenting my absence from yoga, my partner casually remarked, “You could practice if you wanted to.” I was furious. He was correct.
Sure, I could manage a home session, take my little one to Mommy and Me yoga, or even attend an evening class. But all of those options feel like climbing Everest compared to just sinking into the couch with a glass of wine and catching up on my favorite show.
It really boils down to priorities.
Not long after that enlightening chat with my partner, I spoke with my friend Lisa, a fellow mom who had recently returned to work. She mentioned fitting in workouts during her lunch break, and I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy. “I’d love to work out,” I sighed, “but I don’t have anyone to watch the baby.”
Lisa gave me a look that said I was out of my mind. “But you have those hiking trails nearby!”
I used to hike regularly, but I started listing excuses: my baby was too heavy for the carrier, the hiking stroller was a behemoth to haul out of the garage, then there was the whole ordeal of dressing her for the outdoors, aligning it with her feeding and napping schedule, and don’t forget the dog that needed walking first. As my excuses piled up, I realized Lisa was right.
The next day, I went hiking.
It was way more effort than it used to be—what was once a quick morning trek now took half the day. But you know what? It felt amazing. As I incorporated this into my routine, I became more efficient and realized that while motherhood introduces obstacles, it doesn’t make anything impossible.
It’s all too easy to get comfortable.
When my in-laws visited, they insisted that my partner and I enjoy a date night. We hadn’t been out since our baby was born because we were “too nervous to leave her with a sitter.” However, I was okay with leaving her with the grandparents. That evening, though, after a long day of parenting, I just wanted to stay in my pajamas. I told my partner I was not in the mood to get dressed up. He looked at me and said, “We really need this.”
Ugh, he was right again. As new parents, we had been neglecting our relationship.
“Fine,” I relented. “But I’m not getting dressed up.” Spoiler alert: I totally dressed up. We explored a funky vinyl shop, devoured sushi, and chatted about everything but parenting. And we were back home by 8:15!
The next day, I felt less like a sleep-deprived mom and more like a woman who was actively living her life. I felt whole again.
Every time I gather the courage to step away from the motherhood bubble and engage in activities that remind me of who I am, even if it means abandoning my comfy couch, I find a piece of myself.
If you’re interested in exploring more about pregnancy and motherhood, check out this excellent resource at CDC Pregnancy. And if you want to dive deeper into home insemination options, you can find great information on this page as well as an authority on tools at Cryobaby’s Home Intracervical Insemination Kit.
In summary, while motherhood can complicate life, it doesn’t have to be a barrier. Choosing to prioritize self-care and relationships can lead to a more fulfilling experience.