To say I have mixed feelings about birthday party favor bags would be putting it mildly. Honestly, I don’t want my kids to leave a friend’s birthday party thinking they deserve a little gift at the end. They’re there to celebrate, not to collect a prize.
As a mom who struggles with all things crafty, goody bags are the kind of thing that can really stress me out. Some of you have artistic flair and love creating fun treats—kudos to you! But for those like me who lack that talent or passion, the pressure to make these bags can lead to unnecessary anxiety.
And let’s talk about the contents of these treat bags, which often consist of cheap trinkets and potential choking hazards—stuff that kids will forget about before they even leave the parking lot. More often than not, the bags end up scattered throughout my car and kitchen instead of making it to my kids’ rooms.
So, it’s no surprise that I’m not a fan of these goody bags. However, I do love making my kids happy by planning memorable parties for them and their friends. If that means I need to include a treat bag (because let’s face it, that’s usually the case), I’ll go along with it. Even better is when I don’t have to do any of the work, which was my lucky break at my daughter’s recent 6th birthday party.
We rented a play space that took care of everything a not-so-crafty mom like me dreads, including the goody bags. I just provided the theme and the number of kids attending, and they handled the rest. The party was an all-girls affair, but I had three 9-year-old boys joining in as well. When I mentioned the boys, the event manager offered to prepare special bags for them.
On the day of the party, a mom asked if her 9-year-old daughter could join since she couldn’t find a sitter. “Sure,” I said, but I warned her that I didn’t know if there’d be an extra treat bag since I had already given the headcount. Her response was reassuring; she said her daughter would be fine without one.
But, of course, the day wasn’t without its drama. A couple of kids fell ill and couldn’t make it, leaving an extra bag for the friend’s daughter. When I handed it to her, she burst into tears. “I want what’s in the boys’ bag. Mine doesn’t have the same stuff!” I thought it was absurd, given her sister was the one invited, but I kindly explained that the bags had been prepared well in advance. Her tantrum only stopped when her sister chimed in, saying she didn’t even want a bag because she “didn’t like” the contents.
That was my breaking point: “Enough with the goody bags!” I mentally declared. These little bags of disappointment only perpetuate entitlement and bad manners among kids who should be focusing on celebrating their friend. I’m done with plastic toys, themed pencils, and sticker sets that never make it home. I’ve had enough of the meltdowns and the unrealistic expectations tied to them.
So, goodbye, treat bags. I’m sure some kids will be upset after my children’s future birthday parties, but let them find something new to grumble about. And as for my friend’s daughter who had a meltdown, the appropriate response should have been, “Thank you!” After all, there’s really nothing more to say when someone gives you a gift just for showing up.
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In summary, the pressure to create goody bags for children’s parties can lead to unnecessary stress and tantrums. It’s time to rethink this tradition and focus on the real purpose of birthday celebrations—celebrating friendships.