Back in 10th grade, I had a chemistry instructor I’ll refer to as Mr. Johnson. Mr. Johnson was quite the old-school educator, and he often expressed his belief that girls weren’t really cut out for mastering chemical equations. Struggling with both the curriculum and a teacher who clearly thought I was beneath his expectations, I faced ridicule when I asked questions, received harsh grades, and was told that I was wasting my time. I barely scraped by with a B-minus, and to this day, the mere thought of the Periodic Table sends a shiver down my spine.
Fast forward three decades, and I’m now the proud mother of two bright, well-rounded kids. Our local school district is known for its dedicated teachers and strong administrative support, making it a popular choice for families when kindergarten rolls around. My children have benefited from an exceptional education, and many of their teachers have become close family friends. However, there was one year that stood out—when a teacher unmistakably took a disliking to my son.
My son is a curious and intelligent boy who has generally found school to be a breeze. Math comes easily to him, and he’s consistently ahead of his reading level. Despite this, he encountered a rough patch a few years back. Whether it was the pressures of adolescence, more challenging material, or a mix of both, he began to struggle during the first few weeks. Forgotten assignments, lower test scores, and unproductive study habits became a trend. After numerous discussions and some heated debates over his grades, he finally opened up about feeling lost in one of his classes.
While I don’t believe in fighting my children’s battles, I do feel it’s essential to advocate for them when they’re struggling academically. So, I arranged a meeting with his teacher. To my astonishment, she bluntly told me that she didn’t think my son was as intelligent as he presumed, that she had higher expectations based on his IQ, and, most shockingly, that she didn’t like him at all. She looked me straight in the eye and made that clear.
Most people might expect me to defend him fiercely, but I chose to remain quiet. My eyes filled with tears of frustration, and I fought hard not to lash out. Instead, I accepted her shocking remarks and left the meeting, trying to maintain my composure. My son had found his own version of Mr. Johnson. It was evident that this teacher had become jaded after years in the classroom, and it was unlikely she would change. It was now up to me to help my son navigate this challenging situation.
I returned home and had an honest talk with him about the teacher’s comments and her feelings toward him. He admitted he sensed he wasn’t her favorite, but he was okay with that. What impressed me the most was his decision to work incredibly hard—not to prove her wrong, but to prove to himself that he could grasp the material. At the end of our conversation, he flashed a grin and remarked, “It’ll drive her crazy if I get an A.” In that moment, I knew he was going to be just fine.
Throughout the rest of the year, he dedicated himself to his studies, sought our assistance with challenging concepts, and put in the effort to master the subject. I was overwhelmed with joy when he brought home an A on his final report card. When I asked if the teacher had acknowledged his achievement, he told me she had made a dismissive comment about him not being advanced, regardless of his hard work. He simply replied, “Maybe not advanced but definitely improved. Improvement is just as important.” I was so proud of him that day.
Teachers are human, and it’s unrealistic to expect them to connect with every student. Most educators strive to maintain professionalism and keep personal feelings out of the classroom. While it was difficult to watch my child feel undervalued, I’m grateful I allowed him to rise to the occasion. He often reflects on how empowered he felt that year and how he discovered his potential through hard work. Kids continually surprise us when we give them the space to do so.
As for me, I still struggle with chemistry experiments, and I only know the symbol for gold. But that’s okay. And Mr. Johnson? I eventually earned an A in college chemistry, and it felt fantastic.
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In summary, every child faces challenges, and sometimes, those challenges come from unexpected places. It’s crucial to advocate for your kids while also allowing them to navigate their own paths. Encouragement and support can help them thrive even in the face of adversity.