Attention, Family: You Can Actually Handle Some Things on Your Own Sometimes

home insemination Kit

Hey there, my beloved crew! It’s your trusty mom here—master of locating lost items, the queen of sock pairings, and the one who tirelessly scrubs the floors after you traipse in mud and other mysterious substances that you somehow never seem to notice.

Last night, I witnessed you munching on a peanut M&M that had been lounging on the car floor since Halloween, yet you treated my lovingly prepared, semi-homemade dinner like some unappetizing horror, drowning it in ranch dressing while I sat right next to you. So here’s a thought: tonight I’m feeling a bit tipsy off this wine, and I believe you can whip up your own dinner. How about a PB&J? Go wild with the jam! Just remember to clean up after yourselves, okay?

In this house, we have a rule: if you make a mess, you clean it. I know you all forget this little tidbit, yet you somehow remember the time five years ago when I couldn’t find that Lego set you wanted. I love you all so much, and I want to make you happy, but it would really make my day if you could find your own shoes.

If my bathroom door is closed, or I’m in the bedroom talking to your father—especially if we’re together—please don’t come asking me if we have any chips. A little peek into the pantry could solve your snack predicament.

It seems you think my hobbies include cleaning up after your bathroom escapades. Guess what? I’m not a fan of that. If you leave a mess, it’s on you to clean it up. I’m not interested in any “artistic” designs you create; it’s just a mess that needs to be handled.

I sometimes wonder if you enjoy the sound of me raising my voice. You seem to wait until I’ve repeated myself a dozen times before acting, and it drives me a little bananas. If you’d just do the simple things—like putting on pants so we can get to school on time—we wouldn’t have to have these conversations.

And please, don’t ask me where your sweatshirt is. I have a million things swirling in my head, like how to get you from basketball practice to the dentist in three minutes flat without rescheduling yet again. If your sweatshirt isn’t on you, it should either be in your drawer or the hamper. I’m betting it’s crumpled under your bed or hiding in the back of the car. Sweatshirts have a designated home, and it’s not any of those places.

If the trash can is overflowing with coffee grounds and banana peels, do everyone a favor and take it out instead of complaining about how it makes you gag. Just pitch in! Stop staring into the fridge asking if we have blueberry yogurt when it’s practically in your face.

You’ve got this! You’re capable of doing things on your own without needing to ask for everything. So before you ask me for help, take a moment to see if you can figure it out yourself. You might just be surprised at how magical it feels.

Thanks for listening,
Your loving mom

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Summary

This humorous and relatable letter from a mother to her family emphasizes the importance of self-sufficiency, urging them to take responsibility for their own messes and needs. It highlights the mother’s love while also expressing her frustration and desire for her family to step up and help around the house.