My Son Didn’t Make the Gifted Program, and I’m Totally Fine with It

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When my wife broke the news to our son, “Lynden, you didn’t get into the gifted program,” I could see a flicker of disappointment cross his face. He tried to brush it off, but I could sense it stung a bit.

I, on the other hand, felt a wave of relief wash over me. Sure, it’s a tough pill to swallow when your straight-A student doesn’t make the cut for what is supposedly the cream of the crop. I briefly thought about how ridiculous it was that it took more than a year for them to reach this conclusion. After all, what parent doesn’t feel a pang of defensiveness when their child is sidelined?

But honestly, my irritation faded quickly. The reality is, I’m not a fan of gifted programs in general. There are three key reasons for my stance.

The Problem with Testing

The final nail in the coffin for my son was a composite score from a series of intelligence tests that didn’t meet the required threshold. This highlights an issue I can’t stand: the relentless testing of our kids just to sort out who “can” and who “can’t” learn.

In our school district, the gifted program demands multiple tests, including the Kaufman Brief Intelligence Test or the Naglieri Nonverbal Ability Test, alongside assessments like the Reynolds Intellectual Assessment Scales or the Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children. Frankly, I’m fed up with any testing that aims to draw lines between kids. No matter how many Ph.D.s the test creators hold, I refuse to accept that any examination can truly measure intelligence.

The Pushy Parent Advantage

It turns out, having an assertive advocate at home can significantly influence a child’s chances of entering the gifted program. Many students are prodded into taking these tests by their parents. My son’s evaluation was suggested by his second-grade teacher, but that’s not the norm. If a parent doesn’t push for this, kids often have to rely solely on teachers who might not have the time or insight to notice their potential.

Even when a child is keen to join the gifted ranks but doesn’t score high enough, there’s an appeals process. Parents can hire third-party evaluators to reassess their child’s eligibility, which further tilts the scales in favor of those with the resources to pursue such options. Essentially, kids without strong parental support are caught in a system that doesn’t favor them.

Exclusivity in Enrichment Programs

I can’t deny that the gifted program at my son’s school offers some fantastic enrichment activities. The kids participate in community service, go on exciting field trips, and engage in meaningful projects. These are values I wholeheartedly endorse: community involvement, experiential learning, and teamwork.

But here’s my question: Why keep this enrichment exclusive? Shouldn’t we be instilling civic-mindedness in all children, not just those who test well? Gifted programs might be missing out on a huge opportunity to share these values with a broader audience, helping to bridge the divide created by standardized tests.

Reflecting on the gifted program, I’m reminded of a moment from last year when I dropped my kids off at school, only to see three shiny charter buses idling nearby. “What are those buses for?” I asked, only to learn they were taking the gifted kids to Epcot. My immediate reaction? A mix of annoyance and contempt. But after a moment of thought, I turned to my kids and encouraged them to keep working hard, reminding them that persistence pays off in the end.

So when my “gifted-reject” son felt down about the news, I shared the same advice with him: If he keeps pushing himself, he’ll ultimately find success.

In my eyes, that’s a true win.

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Summary:

In this piece, the author shares their relief and acceptance of their son’s rejection from the gifted program, highlighting concerns about standardized testing, the influence of parental advocacy, and the exclusivity of enrichment programs. The emphasis is on the importance of community values and persistence in the face of disappointment.