New moms often find themselves scrutinized based on their child’s sleep patterns, eating habits, developmental milestones, cleanliness, and social behavior. Trust me, I’ve been there, believing that our kids’ achievements were somehow a reflection of my parenting scorecard. If only my little ones could hit all the so-called milestones (which, let’s face it, are subjective) just right, I’d feel like Mother of the Year.
But when you really take a moment to reflect, who’s doing the grading? Honestly, do you even care about their opinions? Probably not.
I didn’t completely ruin my kids with my frantic and anxious ways. My strict schedules didn’t scar them for life. Sure, I might have stressed a little too much about keeping them spotless before a playdate, but they turned out just fine. My daughter still chuckles about the time I chased her around with a hairbrush, desperately trying to tame her wild morning locks, despite her protests.
Now that I have a teenager and two tweens, I’ve realized I could have benefited from a more relaxed approach. If I had the chance for a do-over, I would embrace a few less stressful moments, like:
1. Their Eating and Sleeping Routines
I used to stress if we didn’t get home by 11:02 AM for lunch and naps. While routine is important, it’s also okay to let it slide now and then. A relaxed mom equals relaxed kids. Take it from someone who learned the hard way: A stressed-out parent leads to kids who won’t eat, sleep, or, ahem, poop properly.
2. Their Cleanliness
I was adamant that they shouldn’t fall asleep in their high chairs, but looking back, who really cared? If I had let them doze off mid-meal, we would have all saved ourselves a lot of tears. Instead, I’d clean them up only to find they’d wake up ready to party instead of sleep. I could have used that time for a quick nap myself.
3. The State of My Home
I spent way too much time preparing my house for unexpected visitors or spontaneous playdates. It’s a rare occasion that someone just drops by, and when they did, it felt like a tornado had hit my living room. Instead of stressing about maintaining a spotless home, I could have focused on enjoying a fun, albeit messy, gathering.
4. Their Wardrobe Choices
Having three kids close in age and a love for fashion led me to obsess over matching outfits. But guess what? They hated it! My time would have been better spent doing literally anything else. Seriously, I’d rather have flossed my dog’s teeth.
5. Their Diet
While I nursed them all and tried to provide organic meals, I eventually learned they’d rather sneak sugary cereals and Halloween candy when they thought I wasn’t looking. You don’t have to be a superhero in the kitchen every day. A simple bowl of cereal now and then won’t ruin them.
So, fellow moms, it’s okay to deviate from the plan, take a break from routine, or skip bath time occasionally. As a new mom, you might not take this advice to heart, and that’s completely fine. I probably wouldn’t have listened either.
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Summary
Reflecting on the pressures of parenting, I wish I had focused less on strict routines and more on enjoying the chaos of raising kids. From their eating habits to how clean my house was, I’ve learned to let go and embrace the imperfections of motherhood. It’s all about balance and finding joy in the little moments.