I Don’t Have to Speak Like a Lady, and That’s Absolutely Fine

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Parenting

I Don’t Have to Speak Like a Lady, and That’s Absolutely Fine

by Jenna Matthews

Updated: November 20, 2017

Originally Published: Oct. 21, 2016

I firmly stand by the belief that a well-timed expletive has its rightful place in our world. As a woman, I assert my right to use every colorful word in the lexicon, from “darn it” to “flippin’ fantastic.” My children are fully aware of the extensive vocabulary at their disposal, and I must admit, they’ve learned quite a bit from me rather than their father. Since they’re well-versed in these phrases, I’ve made it a point to teach them when it’s appropriate to express themselves. For example, exclaiming, “Good gracious!” when you accidentally drop a spoon on your foot at home might be acceptable, but in front of Grandma? Probably not.

One thing I absolutely refuse to instill in my kids is the idea that boys can curse while girls should “act like a lady.” Absolutely not. That notion is nothing but outdated nonsense. We know women possess exceptional language skills, and we won’t be silenced by antiquated beliefs. It’s likely that those so-called Victorian ladies, who seemed so prim and proper, were also uttering some creative phrases under their breath.

Women have fought hard for equal rights, and being able to express ourselves freely, including using terms like “flapdoodle” and “nincompoop,” is part of that freedom.

Here are a few reasons why I’m not about to start speaking like a “lady” anytime soon:

1. Swearing is enjoyable.
   Creative phrases like “sugar pants,” “cluster bomb,” and “silly goose” can be downright hilarious. Honestly, try saying “sweet mother of pearl” without cracking a smile.
2. I trust those who embrace swearing.
   Fellow swearing moms, you’re my tribe. I know where I stand with you, and I appreciate the honesty that comes with your colorful language. You provide genuine perspectives that I might just tuck away for future reference.
3. It adds emphasis when needed.
   Let’s be real—I’m eternally grateful that works like Go the Fluff to Sleep exist. Kids, it’s time to GO THE FLUFF TO SLEEP!
4. Pain often demands a good shout.
   When I accidentally slam my finger in the car door, sometimes only “son of a biscuit!” will do to express my displeasure.
5. Research backs me up.
   I once read a study indicating that individuals who curse tend to have larger vocabularies and are more linguistically advanced than those who don’t. That’s right!
6. You’re not my judge.
   At the end of the day, being a lady doesn’t mean I have to hold back on delightful terms like “silly sausage” and “goober.”

I can still be a responsible adult when the moment calls for it. I promise I won’t go all Pulp Fiction around your kids in the grocery store. I’m a controlled user of naughty words, usually saving them for the right moments. For instance, I won’t be bringing “fluffernutter” and “banana pants” to the PTA meeting or church.

But if I stub my toe, well, that’s a different story.

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Summary:

This piece celebrates the freedom of expression for women, particularly through the use of colorful language. It challenges outdated societal norms that dictate how women should speak, emphasizing the enjoyment, trust, and emphasis that swearing can bring to conversations. It affirms the belief that women can embrace their full linguistic capabilities without shame, while also balancing responsibility and situational appropriateness.