Your cart is currently empty!
When It’s One of Those Days, This Is What Brings Me Calm
Menu: Parenting
When It’s One of Those Days, This Is What Brings Me Calm
by Emma Johnson
Dec. 28, 2023
It’s just one of those days again. The kind that kicks off with a restless night and an alarm that feels way too early. A day filled with grocery runs, laundry battles, and constant tidying, all while juggling a little one who wails the moment you set him down. A day where the second you turn your back, there’s a thud or a wail, or sometimes both. Today, I caught him attempting to munch on the diaper pail and scale the toilet like it’s a mountain. A day that features more tears in the crib than actual sleep. A day when he cries from bath time to bedtime, fueled by hunger, fatigue, and the discomfort of teething.
It’s a day that wraps up with me rocking him to sleep, even if I know I shouldn’t. I selfishly need a break from the relentless crying. I sit in the dim light, the sound of ocean waves from his white noise machine filling the room, swaying him gently until his little body, tense with frustration, finally melts against me. In my mind, I compile a list of everything I need to tackle once I finally manage to put him down, prioritizing tasks that must be done before I collapse from sheer exhaustion. I glance at the clock, counting down the moments until I can sneak away and reclaim a sliver of time without his clinginess shadowing my every move.
Then, as he nestles his head into the crook of my arm and his breathing steadies, his tiny hand reaches up, finds the neckline of my shirt, and grips it tightly.
In that half-asleep, mostly unconscious moment, all my stress and irritation fade away, replaced by an overwhelming sense of love and tenderness. That little hand gets me every time.
Sometimes, it surprises me—his small hand pressing against my leg as he pulls himself up, and I look down to see those big, curious eyes gazing back at me. Other times, it’s the closeness that tugs at my heart—the way he rests his tiny hand on my arm or holds onto my hand while we cuddle on the couch. Lately, I’ve been amazed at how his little hands are becoming adept at tasks I never thought he could manage: getting food into his mouth without it falling out and picking up toys from across the room with newfound agility.
Every glimpse of those little fingers reminds me of how he’s both growing and still so small. He’s three times the size he was when I first held him, yet he remains such a little being who relies on my guidance and protection in this vast world.
I realize that today is the youngest he will ever be, and I know there will come a time when he won’t curl up on my chest to sleep anymore; when he’ll start running away instead of crawling towards me; when I’ll be counting the days until he comes back home.
So, even though he’s peacefully asleep now, utterly unbothered by the soft kisses I plant on his cheeks or the gentle strokes of my fingers through his fine hair, I stay put, enveloped in darkness, listening to the waves crash in the background. I watch his chest rise and fall and breathe in his sweet baby scent.
I cherish this tranquil moment with my precious little boy who won’t be a baby much longer, for whom my love knows no bounds. And as his tiny fingers finally release my shirt, I find myself holding onto him even tighter.
If you’re interested in more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this other blog post for more valuable information. For those looking to explore options for starting a family, Make A Mom offers an excellent resource on at-home insemination kits. Additionally, Genetics and IVF Institute provides great information about reproductive health.
Summary
Parenting can be an exhausting journey filled with challenges, but in the midst of chaos, the tender moments with our little ones can bring immense peace. As they grow, we cherish their small gestures, knowing that every day counts in their development. Embracing these fleeting moments is vital for our well-being as parents.