Even Science Confirms: You Can’t Spoil a Baby!

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“Are you ever going to put that baby down?”
“Aren’t you worried about spoiling him?”
“You should start teaching him to self-soothe now, before it gets too late.”

Ah yes, the unsolicited advice I received when my little ones were still tiny. I heard these gems from strangers, relatives, and even some medical professionals when my babies were fresh out of the womb. It’s hard to believe that anyone would suggest I was spoiling my newborns by holding them so often.

Now that my boys are 4 and 9, I can see how ridiculous that advice was. They zoom past me so quickly these days that I have to practically beg them to sit still and cuddle like they did back when they were little. At the time, though, I wasn’t entirely sure they would one day grow into independent little people, so the critiques definitely got under my skin.

Let’s be real: holding my babies around the clock wasn’t just a whim; it was a necessity. If I set them down, they would unleash a full-blown opera of wails. Sure, I could have let them cry it out, but every fiber of my being told me that a crying baby needs to be picked up. And so, I followed my instincts, despite the judgmental glares I sometimes received.

As it turns out, my instincts were spot on. Babies genuinely need to be held when they fuss—not just because they’re cute and snuggly (and smell like pure bliss), but because research backs it up. You literally cannot spoil a baby! In fact, holding a baby is crucial for their overall health and development.

A recent study published in Pediatrics examined the long-term effects of skin-to-skin contact in premature infants. The researchers found that those who enjoyed skin-to-skin cuddles not only had higher IQs and larger brain areas, but they also earned more in their careers two decades later than those who didn’t get that tender care. They were also less prone to hyperactivity and aggression in school and had fewer absences.

Of course, this study focused on preemies, who are particularly fragile and in need of extra love. However, research on full-term babies shows similar benefits. For instance, a 2012 study by the Cochrane Pregnancy and Childbirth Group found that full-term infants who received skin-to-skin care in their early days had improved cardio-respiratory stability, better breastfeeding rates, and even reduced crying episodes.

But it doesn’t stop there! The act of holding your baby offers significant positive effects well beyond their newborn stage. An earlier study from Pediatrics indicates that snuggling babies leads to increased contentment and better feeding habits. Plus, carrying your baby throughout the day can lessen fussiness and colicky symptoms that peak around six weeks (raise your hand if you know the struggle of a colicky baby!).

Want even more evidence? Research shows that holding your baby during painful medical procedures—like vaccinations—can significantly reduce their pain experience. Skin-to-skin contact also enhances a baby’s ability to breastfeed well, and regardless of feeding method, it fosters an unbreakable bond between parents and their little ones.

If you’re curious about the science behind all this, I highly recommend checking out the insightful article by Dr. Raylene Phillips, a lactation consultant, which emphasizes the crucial brain development that happens in those first few months. “The amygdala is in a critical period of maturation in the first 2 months after birth,” she notes. This part of the brain, involved in emotional learning and memory, benefits immensely from skin-to-skin contact, which activates it and contributes to optimal brain development.

Whew! That’s a lot of info, right? And I could keep going because the data is practically overflowing with evidence that you can’t spoil a baby—absolutely no chance! In fact, most research suggests that not holding your baby enough could lead to negative health and developmental consequences.

I sometimes wish I could travel back in time and share all of this research with those who criticized my habit of keeping my babies close. But honestly, like many new moms, I was probably too sleep-deprived to engage in a debate. Thankfully, most moms rely on their instincts and don’t need studies to remind them that their baby belongs in their arms; the notion of spoiling a baby is simply nonsense. If you need some scientific backup, rest assured it’s out there—more is being published all the time.

Or, you could just give any naysayers your best “resting bitch face,” scoop up your baby, and make a hasty exit. That works too!

For more on related topics, check out our post on home insemination. And if you’re looking for expert advice, Make A Mom is a great resource. Additionally, March of Dimes offers excellent information on fertility treatments.

Summary:

Holding your baby is essential for their development, and you can’t spoil them by giving them the love and attention they need. Research supports that skin-to-skin contact not only helps with emotional bonding but also influences physical and cognitive growth. So ignore the naysayers and trust your instincts—your baby needs you close!