I get it; the crying-it-out (CIO) approach is a divisive topic in parenting circles. You can’t scroll through social media without encountering heated opinions about letting your little ones cry themselves to sleep. But today, I want to share my own experience and how it’s turned out for my family. Take it or leave it, but I believe that sharing our parenting journeys can offer support to others navigating this wild ride.
As a new mom a decade ago, I wasn’t bombarded with information like today’s new parents are. I can only imagine how overwhelming it must be now, with all the judgments lurking around. How do you even decide? Co-sleeping or sleep training? Breastfeeding or formula? The list goes on—it’s exhausting! No matter what you choose, you’re bound to face criticism.
If you were to research CIO today, the overwhelming opinions might lead you to think that letting your baby cry will somehow turn them into a future serial killer. The scrutiny parents face today is relentless, and I can’t help but share the silver lining of my CIO experience. My kids, now 5 and 10, are fantastic sleepers, and I would have loved to hear about someone else’s success story during those sleepless nights when I was listening to my babies wail and hiccup, desperately trying to remain strong.
The one thought that kept me motivated was that I was giving my kids the gift of learning to fall asleep independently. I was also reclaiming my sanity, which had been slipping away due to sleep deprivation. Was it tough? Absolutely. Did I shed a few tears? You betcha. But did it work? Oh, yes! Would I do it all over again? In a heartbeat—especially knowing that my kids would grow up with healthy sleep habits.
Understanding the Crying It Out Method
For those who may be unfamiliar, crying it out essentially involves letting your baby cry for a period while you check in occasionally, guiding them to self-soothe and learn to drift off to sleep alone, in their crib, without the need for feedings or rocking. We started this approach with my first child around 8 months, and a tad earlier with my second. After ensuring they were comfortable and well-fed, we laid them down drowsy but awake—and then the crying began. For the first couple of nights, it felt like an eternity. My husband held firm, while I felt like I was a heartless monster. The maternal instinct to comfort my distressed baby was overwhelming, and I remember counting the seconds until I could sneak in for a quick “shhh” and a pat before retreating.
But by the third or fourth night, something miraculous happened. They actually slept! They woke up after a solid eight hours, gurgling and smiling, as if we’d all been granted a new lease on life. Yes, there were ups and downs, and maybe my kids were just naturally inclined to be good sleepers, but since then, they’ve mostly gone to bed when we want them to and sleep through the night—in their own beds!
Despite the loud criticisms from various parenting philosophies, I assure you my children are well-adjusted, caring, intelligent, and funny. Science even supports the notion that CIO doesn’t harm babies. If you find yourself in a CIO situation, remind yourself, “I’m not harming my baby; I’m equipping them with a vital life skill.” So far, my kids haven’t sprouted scales or started speaking in tongues, and they’re thriving!
A Transformative Experience
For us, CIO was transformative. I want to emphasize that this isn’t about letting a hungry newborn cry for hours; it’s about finding a method that works for your family. If you’re hanging by a thread and just need some peaceful sleep, know that you’re not a bad parent. You’re doing your best, and everything will be okay.
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Summary
I shared my experience with the crying-it-out method of sleep training and how it has transformed my children into excellent sleepers. While the approach can be controversial, it proved effective for my family. I encourage parents to stay true to their methods and remind them they are not alone during the challenging moments of parenthood.