The Real Struggles of Being a Type-A Mom

home insemination Kit

By: Jenna Collins
Updated: Sep. 14, 2020
Originally Published: Jan. 17, 2017

Each morning, I wake up and repeat my daily mantra: “Be kind to yourself.” I strive to be present, enjoy the moment, inhale the aroma of my coffee, and hug my kids tightly without letting my never-ending to-do list pull me into the chaos of tomorrow.

Sure, being a Type-A mom has its advantages. I’m a productivity machine, and from the outside, it seems like I have it all figured out. But beneath that facade lies a whirlwind of anxiety. My brain is always buzzing, I obsess over every little detail, and I criticize myself when things don’t go perfectly. It can be an exhausting battle to convince myself that I’m enough.

My to-do list continues to grow, and I’m constantly pondering how to squeeze in more tasks each day or how to push myself to work harder. It’s a relentless mental loop I grapple with daily, as it steals my joy and distracts me from living in the moment. I find myself asking, “What will happen if I don’t do this? Who else will handle it?” These nagging thoughts latch onto me, and their grip is unyielding.

I genuinely want to be more relaxed. I really wish I could stroll past that scuff mark on the wall without it screaming for my attention. I want to focus on making breakfast without drifting into thoughts about next week’s tasks. Yet, just as I crack the eggs, my mind races ahead, and before I know it, I’m overwhelmed by the growing list of things to do. It’s like I’m my own drill sergeant, demanding perfection.

If you’re a Type-A mom, particularly one who deals with anxiety like me, you get it. You’re your own harshest critic. You’ve been told countless times that you’re too hard on yourself, yet you struggle to operate on any other level. You hold yourself to standards that you’d never impose on anyone else, but somehow, you believe you should be able to meet them.

Efficiency is your middle name. Time is always of the essence, and multitasking is your forte. You rarely ask for help because deep down, you believe that no one else could possibly do it the “right” way. Even when you feel drained and ready to throw in the towel, you keep pushing through.

Anxiety and impatience often creep in, especially when you’re juggling too much and attempting to meet self-imposed deadlines. It’s a frustrating cycle that can lead to irritability and mood swings due to the unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves.

Relaxation? What’s that? Even after a long day of achieving your goals, a voice in your head says, “You know, there’s still more you could be doing.” Suddenly, taking a break feels like laziness, but deep down, you know that downtime is essential for your well-being. You often convince yourself that you don’t need it and bulldoze through life until you’re completely overwhelmed.

As a Type-A mom, this tendency isn’t going away anytime soon. We can’t magically transform into laid-back individuals any more than someone more easygoing can suddenly become anxious. We wish we could, though, because while we may appear composed from the outside, it comes at a steep cost—we never let ourselves off the hook.

Nothing has challenged my Type-A tendencies quite like motherhood. I’ve tried it all: yoga, meditation, a glass of wine, journaling, and therapy. Parenthood teaches you that life rarely goes as planned. I’ve learned to ask for help, even if things don’t unfold my way. I’m starting to realize that some tasks are done out of love, and honestly, who cares if my food labels aren’t perfectly aligned? (Okay, maybe just a tiny twitch at the thought.)

Ultimately, what matters most is my family’s happiness, and they are happiest when I can relax a little. The moments I’ve let go of striving for perfection as a mom have been my most valuable life lessons. I still worry like any mom, but I’m learning to let go of the insignificant things—like whether my kids’ outfits match or if their hair is perfectly combed.

My children remind me daily to live in the present. They get lost in their thoughts, crave my undivided attention, and find joy in the simplest things without worrying about what’s next on the agenda. We all know that childhood is fleeting, and I don’t want my kids to remember me as the mom who was always organizing, making lists, and stressing out.

Yes, Type-A moms do get things done, but it’s okay if we don’t. Nothing catastrophic will happen if we let some things slide. I’m learning to loosen my grip a little at a time, allowing myself to enjoy life more fully. It’s a liberating feeling.

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Summary

Being a Type-A mom comes with unique challenges, including constant self-criticism, anxiety, and an overwhelming to-do list. Despite the pressures, it’s essential to embrace imperfections and prioritize family happiness over perfection. Learning to relax and live in the moment can lead to a more fulfilling parenting experience.