Why I Allow My Kids to Kick and Scream When They’re Upset

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In our household, emotions run high—sometimes too high. It’s not uncommon for all of us to experience a whirlwind of feelings in a single day. Lately, my own emotional roller coaster has been fueled by everything from the aftermath of childbirth to the everyday chaos of raising three toddlers. It’s left me reflecting on how I handle my own feelings and, more importantly, how I guide my kids through theirs.

I have to admit, I can get angry in a flash, often resulting in a yell that I later wish I could take back. When I feel hurt, I tend to bottle it up, which only adds to the stress of the day. Watching my 2-year-old unleash a primal scream while shaking with frustration made me realize that emotions cannot just be wished away. Yet, there I am, telling them to “calm down” or “change your attitude” without equipping them with the right tools to navigate their feelings.

As an adult, I can identify my emotions—like anger and disappointment—while my little ones are still learning to articulate what they’re feeling. Emotions are complex and can be hard to process, especially for children who are still developing their understanding of the world. Isn’t it my role as a parent to help them experience and comprehend their feelings? It’s my responsibility to model healthy emotional responses, even though it can be a tall order some days.

Yes, it complicates motherhood, but I firmly believe it’s essential. We need to teach our children not to suppress their emotions but to face them head-on, allowing them to react appropriately. Just the other day, while chatting with a friend, she asked, “What’s the point?” when grappling with emotions that can’t change the past or future. I get it; I often sidestep my feelings too, avoiding confrontations that would force me to acknowledge how I truly feel. But kids? They dive right in, pulling us into their emotional storms with their highs and lows.

I often find myself hiding my feelings, thinking I’m too much to handle. It’s all too easy to discipline our kids’ emotional outbursts without helping them process what’s happening inside. But emotions aren’t bad; they don’t make us weak or burdensome. The only issue arises in how we react to those feelings. For example, I could express anger to my partner or give him the silent treatment—both valid emotions, but one is undoubtedly healthier.

Our home has become a safe space for emotional expression. We have a couch where the kids can scream, toss stuffed animals, or kick the wall in their rooms. Sometimes, I join them, sitting on my own couch in tears or deep thought. We take a moment to slow down, identify the emotion, and understand its roots. Not to dismiss it but to grow from it. It’s about learning how to embrace joy, sadness, excitement, and anger so they can truly live passionately.

I want my children to grow up recognizing their emotions as powerful tools to influence their world rather than letting those feelings control them. By equipping them with the language and understanding of their feelings, they can navigate their emotional landscapes with confidence.

If you are curious about navigating your own emotional journey or exploring related topics, you might find valuable insights in our other blog posts, such as those on home insemination kits or at Make a Mom, which is an authority on this topic. For more resources, Rmany offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.

In summary, allowing my kids to express their anger through kicking and screaming is not just about letting them vent; it’s about teaching them to recognize and process their emotions. It’s a tough job, but it’s essential for their emotional growth.