I was lounging on the couch with my 9-year-old son, Max, getting ready to watch a movie when he pointed out some holes in his beloved Build-A-Bear Pikachu that he received for Christmas. This plush toy was his favorite gift, and he had been carrying it around non-stop for weeks. When I offered to stitch up the holes, he looked at me as if I were asking to take away his toy. His eyes widened, and he clutched Pikachu tightly, as though I had some nefarious plan.
“Dads don’t sew,” he declared, shaking his head as if I had just broken an unspoken rule of the universe. I rolled my eyes. My partner, Lisa, was in the other room working on her laptop. “Dads can sew,” she chimed in. “I’ve seen him do it, and he’s pretty good at it.”
Max then attempted to shove the damaged Pikachu into her arms, as if she should halt whatever she was doing to fix it immediately. This is a common scene in our house. My kids seem to think that only Mom can meet their needs, despite the fact that I’m more than capable of lending a hand. Many moms complain about their children interrupting them while they’re busy, expecting them to spring into action for even the smallest requests, while their dad stands nearby. I see it happen all the time, and it frustrates me too.
I love being there for my kids, and I know many fathers feel the same way. Yet, I often find myself having to convince my children to accept my help, as if I’m trying to stage an intervention. When Lisa is around, my kids behave as if my efforts are somehow inferior. I’ve seen them refuse a glass of milk if I’m the one to pour it, or argue fiercely if I put on their shoes instead of their mother. It’s infuriating.
Lisa works part-time and is the primary caregiver, but when I’m home, I want to contribute more than just bringing home the bacon. I want my kids to see that I can help with household tasks, but it often takes a bit of negotiating.
So, I grabbed a needle and thread and insisted that Max hand over his Pikachu. After a five-minute struggle where I assured him that I could sew, he finally relented. I mentioned that I learned how to sew in home ec—a class that seems to be a relic of the past—but he didn’t need to know about my punk band patch skills.
Once he handed it over, I offered to teach him, but he looked horrified at the thought. So, I got to work while he watched me like I was performing a magic trick. It felt great to show him that a dad can sew, something he seemed to think was only Mom’s domain.
I’m not sure where he got that idea, but I want my kids to grow up knowing that they’re capable of anything, regardless of gender. There’s no shame in a dad taking on traditional “mom” roles, like caring for a child or managing a home. In the past year, I’ve taught Max how to clean a toilet, cook a simple meal, fold laundry, tend to the garden, and even care for his baby sister. Each time I do, I see his skepticism, but I’m confident he’ll eventually understand that being a father encompasses much more than just earning a paycheck.
After I finished sewing up Pikachu’s holes—albeit with one slightly puckered spot—I proudly tugged on them to showcase my handiwork. “See? Good as new!” I said as I handed it back to him. He gave me a half-smile that was equal parts happiness and embarrassment.
“Next time, you’re doing it,” I teased, playfully punching his arm. He rolled his eyes, the usual response.
In Conclusion
It’s time for kids to realize that dads can do just as much as moms when it comes to parenting. Next time you need help, remember that your old man is there for you too!
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