After the kiddos have settled in for the night, that’s when we finally get our moment. We pry our sleepy eyes open and clutch hands while binge-watching our favorite show. We find the energy for a little romance even when fatigue hangs over us like a thick fog. Morning kisses are exchanged as he heads out the door for work, and throughout the day, we send little texts saying “I love you.” Sometimes, we even fire off the occasional snarky message to finish conversations that got cut short by the chaos of our mornings.
Being a stay-at-home parent is a role I cherish, but let’s be real—it can be overwhelming. I genuinely love being a mom, but there are days when I feel completely drained. It’s a complicated love, much like my children and, frankly, like all relationships. It’s everything I ever dreamed of, and a million things I didn’t anticipate.
But our marriage is still very much alive, and our shared story continues to unfold. Sure, we have a history that includes moments filled with love and laughter, hidden beneath the daily grind of work, meal prep, and school runs. I admit, I long for more moments of “us” before the kids grow up and start living their own lives. I want to soak up this precious time where we can still be partners and parents, but I also understand that life can throw some curveballs.
I don’t want to put our love on hold for later. I refuse to save our romance for weekends or vacations. We strive to incorporate “us” into our busy weekdays, attempting to rediscover the couple who fell in love before the laundry took over our lives. The reality is that loving someone while raising little ones is a different ball game—especially when sleep deprivation plays a role.
Date nights are few and far between, and those fleeting hours before we crash can never replicate the lazy Saturdays of our past. Yet, I crave more of him and more of those shared moments. I try to linger in that morning kiss, even as my mind races through a hundred tasks waiting for me. I aim to show my daughters the multifaceted woman I am—beyond just being their “Mommy.” I strive to be a wife, a friend, and someone who laughs with him in the kitchen rather than frowning over minor mishaps.
Sometimes, it feels like we’re more like roommates than soulmates, but deep down, I know that’s not the case. Every little kiss on the cheek, every moment I stay awake a bit longer instead of collapsing into bed—those are all choices I make every day. I choose him, time and time again, and it’s important for him to hear that.
The people we love deserve to know how much we appreciate them, especially amidst the chaos. Every day, our children morph in ways that are both obvious and subtle, and with each passing moment, my husband and I draw closer together, even if it’s just a brief hug without a little one tugging at our legs.
This morning, I found myself in the kitchen with our youngest, who proudly proclaimed herself a “little big girl.” Soon enough, she won’t need help with breakfast, and I can’t help but feel a bittersweet sense of beauty in that change. Growth, transition, and the inevitable passage of time are all part of life, and my marriage is no exception.
It’s not stagnant; it’s evolving, almost like a rebirth. All I need to do is keep my tired eyes open to witness it.