For eight years, I dedicated myself to being a stay-at-home parent. While I took on part-time work as a breastfeeding counselor and lactation consultant during weekends, it didn’t provide much of a respite from my children’s demands. Fast forward to the present, I’m now a freelance writer working from home. With my youngest starting school, I find myself spending more time in my “office” (which is essentially my bedroom) immersed in writing. Although I relish this quiet time, it still isn’t a break from parenting. Writing requires serious dedication—researching, communicating with editors, and producing quality articles consume a significant portion of my week.
That time away in a calm environment—about 20 hours each week—is truly a blessing for me. It’s hard to recognize how draining the earlier years of parenting were until I experience something better. Reflecting on that period, I realize just how exhausted I was. Being a stay-at-home mom was a dream come true, yet the constant demands of my children felt relentless. Those early years were like an intense love affair, with my children’s needs intertwined with my own. I often felt overwhelmed, battling anxiety and depression, leaving me utterly depleted by the end of the day. By 5 p.m., I was completely worn out—not just from sleepless nights, but from the sensory overload that comes with motherhood.
A few years back, I discovered the work of Dr. Elaine Aron, who introduced the concept of the highly sensitive person (HSP). Reading her descriptions was eye-opening, as I recognized myself in her words. HSPs are easily overwhelmed by sensory input—loud noises, bright lights, and chaotic settings—and often require solitude to recharge. This realization made me see how the demanding lifestyle of parenthood could overwhelm someone like me.
Early in my parenting journey, I understood that I wouldn’t be the type of mom organizing endless playdates. I prioritized quiet time during my children’s nap and bedtime, avoiding chores or social engagements. Those moments became sacred, allowing me to relish the peace of a quiet house. While I managed to carve out some self-care time, I now realize that I need more than a few fleeting moments of solitude. To maintain my sanity, I require several uninterrupted hours each day to think and decompress.
Despite missing my full-time mommy days, especially those tender moments with my infant children, I recognize the improved balance I have now. Some mothers thrive in a 24/7 parenting model, but I’ve accepted that I am not one of them. Instead of viewing my sensitivity as a flaw, I’ve learned to embrace it as a strength. This heightened awareness allows me to connect deeply with my children, regardless of how much time we spend together.
Even with the balance I’ve achieved, I still need moments to escape the chaos. My children have grown accustomed to my need for silence; I simply tell them, “I need a little quiet,” as I retreat to my bedroom to meditate. I hope that by honoring my own needs, I’m teaching them that self-care is not a sign of weakness but a vital aspect of overall well-being.
Every mother faces unique challenges and limits, and prioritizing one’s own needs is often difficult, especially during the early stages of motherhood. Feeling overwhelmed is detrimental to both moms and their children. Prioritizing mental health is crucial for effective parenting. Recognizing what you require to maintain balance is the first step, and taking action to meet those needs benefits everyone in the long run. For those interested in exploring more about the journey of home insemination, this related post can provide valuable insights.
In summary, as a highly sensitive person, daily alone time is essential for maintaining mental and emotional health, and embracing this need allows me to parent more effectively.