My sister is my essential lifeline in the wild world of parenting. Only 19 months younger than me, she’s always been ahead of the game—she had her first crush before I did, navigated her period first, and even walked down the aisle before I did. But it’s her experience as a mom that I lean on the most. With her youngest just a year older than my eldest, she’s been through many of the parenting challenges I face, often leading the way. I honestly don’t think I would manage without her wisdom. Sure, I’d survive, but I’d probably be a lot more paranoid and resemble a scene from a horror movie if it weren’t for my sister to vent to, especially during those frantic bathroom sobbing sessions.
I believe every mom needs a parenting lifeline. While sisters make fantastic allies (and I’m admittedly biased), I know not everyone has one. A lifeline can be any friend who brings you back to reality and helps you avoid impulsive choices fueled by guilt, exhaustion, or sheer confusion. Crucially, this person shouldn’t be your spouse; every mom deserves a sounding board outside of her partner.
For instance, a few years back, my daughter was tangled up in some classic schoolyard drama. My first instinct was to rage-call the other kid’s parents and announce their child was the real villain. Thankfully, I decided to reach out to my sister instead. I unloaded my frustrations about the “mean kid” who was bothering my sweet daughter, and my sister patiently listened as I ranted about how unfair it all was.
She saved me from a potential friendship disaster. After all, my daughter was merely in second grade, and the other child wasn’t doing anything close to bullying. My sister calmly reminded me, “Don’t call the other parent. This is part of growing up. Last year, we helped H by doing role-playing to navigate these situations. Why not try that first?” Role-playing! What a revelation!
I’m grateful she steered me away from an impulsive call that could have jeopardized my friendship with another mom. I often reach out to her for guidance on everything from whether I’m being too dramatic to whether my little one might need a therapist or is just a quirky kid.
What to Look for in a Lifeline Parent
So, what should you look for in a lifeline parent? Here are some tips:
- Find someone who reassures you that it’s normal to feel frustrated with your kids sometimes. After all, they have their own mini-monsters too.
- You need a friend who will ground you when you’re tempted to plan an extravagant Pinterest birthday party that will leave you frazzled, instead of enjoying a simple gathering.
- They’ll remind you that your kids aren’t perfect and that every child has their moments. My sister adores my kids and keeps me from idealizing them too much, which is a blessing.
- They encourage you to take breaks without guilt. It’s okay to escape for some self-care—bonus points if you can sneak off together for a pedicure!
- Your lifeline parent lets you vent and agrees that kids can drive you up the wall. They’re the ones who listen while you indulge in ice cream and cathartic tears.
- They’re honest when they don’t know the answer but provide support without judgment, and they know when to suggest a doctor visit for that mysterious rash.
- They’re your go-to for last-minute childcare so you can reclaim a sliver of sanity.
- And, in moments of crisis, they’d come to your aid even if it means risking their own health, like stepping in when you’re home sick.
A true lifeline parent will gently call out your irrational thoughts, remind you of reality, and you’ll know they’re right without getting defensive.
I firmly believe motherhood isn’t meant to be a solitary journey. Moms must support one another and share the simple truths of parenting: kids can be adorable little terrors, and it’s perfectly okay to daydream about a getaway now and then.
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In summary, every mom needs a reliable support system to navigate the challenges of parenting. Finding that lifeline can make all the difference in maintaining sanity and enjoying the journey.