Who doesn’t dream of perfection? We want it for our kids because we see their potential, and that can create a lot of pressure on us as parents to arm them with every tool they might need to reach their wildest ambitions. We may not voice it, but deep down, we hope for children who ace their exams, win championships, snag Oscars, or earn Nobel Prizes. Anything less can feel like a personal failure—either we’ve let them down or they’ve let us down.
Society adds to the pressure, pushing us to be the ideal parents raising the picture-perfect children. Our family albums and holiday newsletters seem to demand a showcase of our little prodigies’ achievements. But here’s the reality check: Perfectionism can severely limit what our kids can become.
Perfection is Just a Mirage
Famed author and thought leader, Jamie Rivers, argues that perfection is a construct designed to maintain the status quo. He notes, “Perfect is an illusion that keeps you from making meaningful changes. It encourages you to stall, ask more questions, do more reviews, and generally avoids anything that might lead to failure.”
Sorry, Timmy, but your finger painting isn’t a masterwork. And guess what? It doesn’t have to be! It’s a finger painting! The goal isn’t perfection; it’s all about expressing yourself.
The game-changers in art didn’t pop out of the womb creating masterpieces. Take Van Gogh, for instance—he churned out over 2,000 pieces, not all of which were revolutionary. But he dedicated his life to exploring new forms of expression, free from the shackles of perfectionism. That’s the mindset that fosters true creativity.
Preparing children for an unpredictable future isn’t about molding them into flawless beings; it’s about encouraging their innate tendencies to be messy, express themselves, and enjoy the ride.
Perfectionism Can Be the Foe of Courage
In her inspiring TED Talk, Lara Bright highlights how the pressure for perfection can stifle a child’s willingness to take risks. “Girls are often raised to shy away from risk and failure. We’re taught to be neat, play it safe, and earn top grades. Meanwhile, boys are encouraged to take risks, climb to the top of the monkey bars, and jump off headfirst. As adults, whether negotiating salaries or asking someone out, boys are conditioned to embrace risks, while girls are groomed for perfection.”
While Lara specifically addresses the impact on girls, her insights open up a broader conversation about how the pursuit of “perfect parenting” can stifle curiosity and creative bravery in all children.
Perfectionism nurtures caution, hesitation, and a preference for the safe route—all of which inhibit creativity and innovation. Why would kids take a risk on a less conventional path if they’ve always cruised along with straight A’s?
But here’s the silver lining: We can lighten the load of trying to be perfect parents and raising perfect kids. Spoiler alert: none of us are perfect.
As the legendary artist Salvador Dali wisely said, “Have no fear of perfection. You’ll never reach it.” The world doesn’t crave perfection; it craves determined individuals who embrace imperfection and love the challenge of tackling unsolvable problems.
Your kids aren’t perfect. You aren’t perfect. Think about icons like Albert Einstein, Rosa Parks, and Steve Jobs. None of them were perfect.
By removing perfection from the creative equation, we alleviate the pressure. The fear of failure becomes less daunting, making it easier to take risks and venture into uncharted territory. That’s when the magic happens!
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In summary, aiming for perfection can stifle creativity and risk-taking in children. By letting go of these unrealistic expectations, we can nurture their ability to express themselves and embrace the messiness of life.