Since becoming a mom, I’ve found myself saying things I never thought I would. It’s like a whole new language of absurdity has emerged, leading to the most pointless questions and statements imaginable. After saying some of these things, I often catch myself wondering, “What was I thinking?” Here are a few recent gems from my toddler conversations:
- “If you don’t put on your shoes right now, I’m leaving you behind!” Seriously, where could I possibly go without my little one? The backyard? The garage? Not much of an escape plan!
- “Do you want me to give you a spanking?” Honestly, how many kids would actually say “yes” to that?
- “If you don’t tidy up that mess, it’s straight to bed for you!” Can you believe it’s only two in the afternoon?
- “If you don’t stop, I’ll turn this car around!” This threat seems to pop up only on days when we have important appointments, like at the doctor’s office or preschool.
- “You have 30 seconds to clean up those toys, or I’m tossing them all out!” Who am I kidding? Throwing away their toys sounds exhausting.
- “If you don’t eat your food, I won’t give you any more dinner!” This logic is baffling, isn’t it?
- “I’m going to count to three, and you better stop, or else!” To this day, I have no idea what “or else” entails.
- “Are you trying to make me mad?” Silly me—my toddlers don’t plot against me. They just blissfully ignore me until I feel like I’m about to explode.
- “If you don’t start listening, I’m going to stop talking!” How ironic is that, talking to toddlers who aren’t paying attention?
- “If you keep playing with your food, I’m taking it away!” Honestly, if they’re not eating, they probably just aren’t hungry!
I realize I need to up my game as they grow older and start to recognize that the power dynamic has always favored them. Until then, they have a mere 30 seconds to comply, or else…
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Summary
In the world of parenting, we often find ourselves saying the silliest things to our toddlers, questioning our own logic in the process. As our little ones grow, the challenge is to adapt our approach while navigating their whims and desires.