Dear Millennial Mama,
There you are, wrestling with your little one, his sun-kissed hair cascading over his shoulders as he twists and turns in a valiant attempt to escape the confines of that restaurant high chair. You glance around nervously as your child emits a frustrated squeal. Your partner heads to the bar — good call. You pull out your phone to capture the moment of impending meltdown while soothingly explaining why he can’t bolt from his seat. With your other hand, you bounce the fussy infant strapped to your chest. Nearby, two older ladies shoot you judgmental looks. Are they annoyed by your kid’s antics, your phone usage, or perhaps both?
I can only imagine the post you’ll craft after this. (No shade intended, I promise!)
Your partner arrives just in time to place your wine in front of you, and then the little guy kicks the table. Crayons scatter, wine splashes, and the baby starts wailing. The two women at the next table exchange glances, lips pursed. I see your face flush as you hurriedly wipe up the mess, shove a pacifier into the baby’s mouth, and whisper-yell at your husband to manage the now-tantruming toddler. This moment feels like a free-fall, and you know it. All you wanted was that fabulous glass of wine, a juicy burger, and a side of sweet potato fries. When your meal arrives moments later, you end up asking for a to-go box.
Those women chuckle over their salads, but my heart aches for you. I’m the Gen X mom sitting across the room with my seemingly perfect 5-year-old. My wine is safely in hand, mostly because I’ve resorted to letting my daughter eat butter straight from the dish that came with the breadbasket. Despite the generational gap, I totally get where you’re at. Parenting is a circus, no matter the decade.
Thanks to my late-in-life third child, I often find myself in the company of millennial moms like you. Sure, your phone is practically glued to your hand, and some of your parenting choices leave me scratching my head, but the truth is, we have more in common than we realize. I might lean towards skinny jeans over yoga pants, a nude lip instead of vibrant red, or a more hands-on approach rather than a free-range style, but at the end of the day, we share the same goal: to raise happy, healthy kids, even if our paths look different. And guess what? You’re nailing it, even when it doesn’t feel that way.
The sheer volume of information you’re bombarded with is staggering compared to what I experienced when my first child arrived. For you, sharing life’s little moments online is as natural as navigating sleep schedules was for me. I know you’re actively engaging with it all — those candid Instagram posts, the support groups, and the endless parenting advice — but that doesn’t mean you deserve the judgment that often tags along. Sifting through all that noise must be draining, but I get it. You seek connection, and while you have real-life relationships, that vibrant virtual community is often your support system, glowing through the screen.
I didn’t have that when I was in your shoes. Connecting with other moms meant leaving my house, and postpartum challenges kept me cocooned at home. When I did venture out, I wore a mask of perfection that didn’t reflect reality. Your openness and willingness to connect feels much more genuine than the unattainable standards many moms of my generation felt pressured to uphold.
I know you feel the weight of judgment from the tsking ladies two tables over, but let me just say: forget them. Parenting is tough, and you’re doing a fantastic job. When you snap a photo or post about your day, it doesn’t mean you’re neglecting your kids; it’s a brief moment of self-care in the midst of chaos. That’s something I wish I could have done when I was in the thick of it. In those split seconds of reaching out, you’re giving yourself the strength to survive the next few minutes as you wrangle your kiddos and make a beeline for the exit.
But please, don’t leave on my account. I understand the battle just to get out the door, and the disappointment of having to cut your outing short is real. I see you struggling; I’ve been there, and I know it’s incredibly tough to raise kids. It might not get easier, as every phase brings its own challenges, but it does evolve, and so will you. You will eventually carve out your unique parenting style and find what resonates best for you. One day, you’ll be able to sit down at a restaurant with your kids, savoring that burger, fries, and glass of wine from start to finish.
And when that day comes, I hope you share it online for all to see. Because that’s a moment worth celebrating.
For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this fantastic resource from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. And if you’re curious about self-insemination, you can learn more from the experts at Make a Mom.
Summary
This piece is a heartfelt message from a Gen X mom to Millennial mothers, celebrating the unique challenges and triumphs of modern parenting. It emphasizes shared goals, the importance of connection, and the value of recognizing one’s own parenting journey, even amidst chaos.